I believe my mother falls at times on purpose. She fell in the nursing home once on purpose and then told me she was trying to end her life. She wants me to keep her at my house, but my nerves are shot from her. Always complaining about everything, she fell at 4:00am, and said her shoulder hurt, but no bruise or sign of injury, then the next evening she said her hip she got replaced was hurting bad, she stiffened up and wouldn't get up not even to get on the potty, I had to lift her. So I called the doctor , the nurse said I could take her to the ER. We had to pack her to the car using a sleeping bag to carry her to the car, then at the ER they had to put her on a stretcher to get her in the hospital. Xrays, tests, nothing showed up. I told her if she can't walk I can't take care of her. So the nursing home came and got her. Next day she called me and told me to come get her, angry for being sent to nursing home. I told her I would call them Monday to see if she is back walking. I've had enough of her, I don't want to bring her home.
Tell them her care is more then you can safely provide and she needs permanent placement.
Unsafe discharge is what you want them to fully understand, regardless if what she tells them.
Then either paid aides are required in shifts, or a move into a residential care setting.
Is Mom in the nursing home now?
Is dementia part of the picture? If so, this is progressive - needs will increase. Mom's judgement will also get worse.
Focus on what she NEEDS, rather than what she wants.
I never understood why people let others ruin their lives. Ohhhh maybe the good old guilt trip??? I don’t believe our parents should rob us of our mental health.
Or, you can get her all set up with Medicaid and then walk away. Me, I would allow the state to take over. You were estranged from her for a reason.
You are in over your head, just say NO!
That said, I would not let the state take over her care. You can continue to MANAGE her care while she's in the SNF b/c in my experience, every elder needs an advocate while living in managed care. You can choose to be that advocate, and to bring her what she needs when she needs it, in terms of supplies, clothing, snacks, etc. You just get to relinquish management of her day-to-day care and all those falls, etc. That can all be done at your convenience and on your timetable. She'll be out of your house and being cared for by others, and that's the main goal.
Wishing you the best of luck!