She no longer wants to rise in the a.m. It is a battle each morning now. She can hardly walk anyway. I'm afraid she's going to fall again. She's a total light weight and fragile. I finally got her up this morning and into the shower onto the chair in there. I thought I was going to have to call someone to help me get her out because she just wouldn't budge. When I asked her if she wanted me to have my husband come in and see her naked to help me get her out of there, she said 'no', then started to get out. Sigh. She is highly confused these daze....
As far as her staying in bed? What does the doc say? Does she need more care than you are able to provide? If she just wants to remain in bed, I wouldn't until she is completely unable to get up. Then it may be time for an evaluation for hospice.
If it is the dementia that is limiting her movment, then I might consider whether she needs a shower everyday. Unless she's really sweaty or soiled, then I would consider limiting the showers to a couple of times per week and bath her from the sink other times. Some use body wipes instead of showering. Can you bath her from her bed? Showers may be too much for her to handle now.
Regardless, I would not pressure her by threatening to bring a male into the bathroom. That's not fair to a dementia patient. They are limited in their ability and coping skills and to frighten them or try to embarrass them is not appropriate. Maybe you meant no harm, but please don't pressure her that way. Please reconsider how that must make her feel. She may not understand much of what is being said, but I wouldn't take that chance. If you have to have male assist in the bathroom, I would approach it in a loving and caring way without coercion.