The three other siblings were not their for them. All had pointed out the mistakes my parents made raising us. Not one of them was nice to them. One estranged for 20 years, one on drugs and then one who came 3 times a year. Now I am being accused of neglect and abuse so I will share the money with them. I had planned on it but feel that Mom and Dad knew wanted me to have it and now I cant believe they are stooping this low. At anytime they could have asked my parents anything. It was my parents that set all this up, not I. I did not ask for it and I did not scare them into it. The sibling that did tell denies it. I am saddened by their lack of love for my parents and I am hurt they would think such things about me. I really would like to just throw it all up in the air and tell them they can fight over it. I did not care for them for the money, I loved them and they needed someone. They would have done it for us and have. I am now scared of their allegations that are not true and I am afraid that mysiblings will make sure that they get their cut. I appreciated and loved my parents and want to do what they wanted but then my siblings are threatening me to divide it all. I have been unable to do anything since I received the hurtful allegations. Its like I am paralized. I can not believe they thought so little of my parents and of me.
Yes, seek an attorney. When the going gets tough, remind yourself: if your siblings were never there for their own parents, what makes me think that they will be there for their own sibling (you)? No matter what happens, go get a good lawyer and be prepared instead of waiting last minute.
The neglect and abuse allegations are attempts to frighten and manipulate you. Assuming that none of them are true, you can ignore them, or you can challenge them. If you choose the latter route, you have some options.
You can tell them to go ahead and make their accusations and you'll start to find a lawyer who can consider filing a slander or libel suit against them. Bluff them as they're bluffing you, but I do think that this tactic isn't in your nature.
You can just ignore them and gradually cease contact with them until they get over their anger, which may or may not happen at all.
Alternately, you can give them something nominal, but I doubt if it will satisfy them.
If this happened to me, I'd remind them in writing of all the times they failed their parents, of how severely their lack of support hurt your parents emotionally, and that they weren't good children. Turn the situation around so that you're accusing them and putting them on the spot instead of the way it is now.
If you want to get really aggressive, you could ask the drug addict sibling what treatment he's in now to address his addiction. You could ask the estranged sibling if he's getting counseling for the poor way he's treated his parents. You could ask the sibling who came 3x yearly why he wasn't there on a regular basis when your parents needed him.
I think you get the idea; turn the tactics against them. But it does take a lot of courage and right now it sounds like you're kind of afraid of them - no fault in that; 3 against 1 isn't good odds.
There is another option: purchase something for their children, or for them, so that you're essentially sharing some asset of your parents' legacy but aren't giving them the choice. Make it something they could really use so they can't find fault with the gift.
But also ask yourself if a few years from now you'll wish you'd done something differently. And don't do anything until you've thought the whole situation over and feel as though you're acting as your parents wished, and in your best interests.
If they dare to file to contest the will, you will need an attorney, if it goes your way they will pay your attorney, either way I rather pay an attorney than pay to "fix" a relationship