She's been in AL for 2 months. The problem is we are clearing out her house to sell it. She says she wants to
"get stuff". Before we moved her to AL, she had two months to gather the items she wanted. She did nothing. We had to make the decisions on her things for her and moved what we could with her. She has all that she needs and then some. We are considering taking her to the house once it is completely cleared out and cleaned up, so she will know she can't "go back". Is this a good idea? We don't want her depression to get worse. We are constantly dealing with her demanding to go to the house.
Knock on wood, my Dad left his house and didn't want to look back. If my Mom wasn't there, he didn't want to relive memories of her falling, etc. It's time for a new family to enjoy the home.
But I'd say - try not to return your mom to her house. I can not foresee anything good coming of it.
Anyway, at some point my dad got it in his head that he wanted to move back home (he had moved 700 miles away) and he wanted his house. We tried to explain to him that it wasn't really his house anymore and his reply was that he would pitch a tent in the backyard and live there anyway. He was totally irrational, not at all like my father. But he could not get it in his head that the house was on the market. There was no silverware, no towels, no sheets on the bed (just staged dressing). My dad kept telling me that he was going to buy an airline ticket and come back and move back in. I had to hurry and find a rental house within 1 day because my dad was flying back and didn't or couldn't understand that he had had nowhere to live.
My dad didn't have dementia at this time, he was just completely irrational regarding "his" house.
My advice would be to not take your MIL to her old house. What if it sparks an obsession and she decides that she can move back in? This happens. And if she's chomping at the bit to see her house now how is she going to feel when she sees it all cleared out? You may have a meltdown on your hands.
Take some nice photos, that's what we did with my dad's house. My dad appreciated them and we all moved on. It might be too much to expect someone with dementia to move on if they see the house in person.
Have you consulted with experts about the sell of her house? Just in case she is anticipating Medicaid, you might look into how the funds from that sale could effect her eligibility.
I checked with my insurance carrier, and also checked with the insurance carrier who is in my office building regarding vacant houses. Both said the same thing, as long as I had notified the insurance carrier that the house is vacant and we plan to sell the house, they will cover for any damages. If the house sits too long not going on the market, the carrier can cancel the policy.... then you may or may not be able to purchase what is called an "investment property" policy.