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Ask the funeral director for a private viewing for gram, they will be more than happy to comply especially in these times. See if she wants to attend the service in person or via zoom. If she decides to go to the service mask is essential. Could you post a family member at the door to inform incoming people that to protect her social distancing is being strictly enforced not only because of covid but also any other kind of potential illness? This is a hard time for all of you. Condolences and prayers for the loss of your grandfather.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2020
That would be my suggestion, IF she wants a viewing. Me personally, nope. I want to remember whoever as they were! My dad's mother was the first, and I only got as far as the parking lot for the "wake." For my mom's mother, I made it into the building, but was NOT comfortable with it. Funny that no one ever asked me to attend the burial/funeral - THAT would have been fine.

So, if she wants to see him one last time, ask for a private viewing. Depending on how strong she is physically, ask her if she'd like to attend the service/burial as well. I also would recommend avoiding a gathering after the fact. Too many people increases the chance of catching the virus. Unclear how old she is, but my mother doesn't like others wearing the masks around her and trying to keep one on her is nigh impossible!
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Grandma's decision t
whether or not to go to any or all of it.
Whatever she decides, be supportive but reasonable because I'm guessing getting Grandma out may not be an easy task.
If she goes, enlist one or two others to help you, including creating a buffer from others, even well meaning family. Inform whoever's attending that Grandma will not be socializing with them as much as they want to pay their respects. Maybe she would like alone time with her husband also.
Talk to the funeral home people because they may be able to assist- private space for her and keep her safe.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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I would not make her sit during the viewing. The service and graveside would be enough. I would ask that the minister make the service and graveside service short. As soon as it is over, take her back to the car. I would not have a big luncheon maybe just immediate family. Have her eat and if she is showing signs of being tired, take her home. I hope your visitation is like an hour before the service. A viewing the night before would be very exhausting for grandma.
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Lonelystar, I am so sorry for your families loss.

May God grant you all grieving mercies and strength during this difficult time.

I agree with the others, let grandma decide what she wants to do without coercion.
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Let her decide without trying to persuade her either way and respect her decision. I’m sorry for your loss
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I would let your grandmother decide.
My grandparents were married over fifty years and they loved each other dearly but she did not attend his funeral.

Grandma simply couldn’t bear to see him in a casket. Some people thought it was awful that she didn’t go. I understood completely how she felt.

Covid has complicated everything. Nothing feels normal. It is hard to adjust to any of this. If she goes, take all precautions to keep her safe.

I am so sorry for your loss.
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This should be your Grandmother's decision. Do supply her with the best mask you can, an N95 if possible, and this time, forgive me, but it is for her protection, not the protection of others (though will serve that purpose as well). Try to post anywhere to ask for a good mask even if construction grade with the value. Unless you forcefully breath out the values don't open, and you could cover the value with a small surgical mask. Again, you an advise, but this should be your grandmother's decision. I am so sorry for the loss for all involved. Just heard last week a program on NPR which said we always ask others but we never ask our ELDERS what it is they actually want. Good luck
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
N95 masks are readily available at paint stores, expensive but abundant.
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