Both my parents have recently been diagnosed with dementia: Dad with Alzheimer’s and Mom with a high probability of Lewy Body. Both of them are in early-moderate stages of their respective types. Dad is a wartime Veteran and qualifies for Aid and Assistance. Is it best for them to be together even though Dad (only) could be in a State-run VA facility?
We were waiting for an opening in memory care for dad when mom passed away. It was in the same facility and they could have had meals together and visited although I think mom had about had it with dad at that point.
We tend to think couples should always be together no matter what but situations can differ.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/quality-of-life-in-the-old-soldiers-home-446366.htm?orderby=recent&page=1
I hope you can gain some insight. Best wishes to you because it's a tough row to hoe with the two of them needing attention.
I agree that you should check the VA to see if mom qualifies for care.