There is no proof this is true.Where can I get help fast? Mom was recently in the hospital. She is 92. I've been her caregiver for 6 years. My sister attended to her during her hospital stay of 3 days while I was ill. Subsequent to this, my sister's demeanor changed towards me. She then suddenly moved mom in with her - like I was non-existent and feeling totally shut out. I've been in a dispute with my sister over this for a week now - as she believes she is now in charge of her care and will make the decisions. As I've been trying to find legal help to get her back into my care, I find out APS has been involved because my sister said she had told doctors I wasn't caring for her properly and that's what prompted the investigation. There is a definite mix up. My sisters believe she has the full authority now to make all decisions for mom. Social workers, etc. know only her side of the story, what she told them and have advised her of what actions to take. I've made several calls to find legal help, but there are long waiting periods or attorneys are way out of my price range. In the meantime, my sister is wanting to make these quick decisions about selling property to get mom into assisted living and at the bank checking to see how much money is there. When I make the recommendation that she can move in with me instead of going to AL (she was living in her own home) and I have a nice home w/ 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, downstairs bedroom, I don't work and live here by myself, she says "oh no, that wouldn't work". "They wouldn't allow it." I am not aware of who "they" are she is referring to or why "they" wouldn't allow it. No one has tried to contact me and I feel run over. I need to get help now before she gets the DPOA changed solely to her name, which she might already have done since I've been deceived about what's going on. My mom and I have always been close and I believe she should remain in my care. Any suggestions?
If you did nothing wrong, I wouldn't worry about APS. I was in a similar situation. My 93 year old mother has Alzheimer's. I like your sister, took charge, moved my mom in with me, sold her house, took her to an attorney and have POA. Mom has lived with me for a year and a half. I now have her on the waiting list for Assisted Living. My older sister - who hasn't seen her mother in over 30 years (but has taken much of money during that time period); called APS and told them I was abusing my mother. I was investigated and I obviously wasn't. So I wouldn't worry about that.
Someone needs to be a mediator for you mom - maybe an attorney or geriatric care manager or a social worker to work with the two of you to decide what is best for your mom.
Second, without a DPOA, your sister should not be finding out from the bank about your mom's finances or have the authority to sell the house.
I'm curious what happened...you were ill yourself and couldn't get over to mom's? And she fell (which can happen anywhere), but because no one was around, she was on the floor for a while? And mom doesn't know how to work the heat anymore, because she has dementia.
Look, no one person can take care of a dementia patient, especially not from another household. Your mom can't live alone any longer, but you're still letting her drive the bus.
Try to make peace with your sister. And with APS.
My sister and I are both equally sole beneficiaries.
No, I want mom to move into my house now and where I wanted her to be for quite some time, but she refused and wanted to stay at her place which is only 5 minutes away and I see her every day. But my sister objects.
Can you discuss with social worker involved in her discharge ?
Are you the sole beneficiary of your mom's estate ? Is your mom competent to change her POA ?
I would think if you've been caregiver for 6 years and have taken her to doctor appointments then you would be able to argue your case to APS however if your mom is in her own house alone at 92 and has dementia and needs 24 hour care then that might be a problem