My sister has Durable POA, Medical POA (I'm second). Per her request and recommendation of her doctor, Mom was moved to AL about 30 days ago. Did not want to live with any of her 7 children. She is not adjusting well, making an ungodly number of phone calls, wants to go home but she can't live by herself anymore. Tonight, one brother told her he would come and get her tomorrow and move her into his house. He and his wife both work, there will be no one there and the only thing that will change is her physical location, minus all that the AL facility is doing for her. Can he legally just do this?
People are using too many abbreviatons in their Q&A. Sometimes it takes me
5 minutes to understand what they mean. Not everyone of your readers is
familiar with this sort of texting.
Solution: Post some sort of chart at the beginningof each Q&A that explains what the most commonly used abbreviations mean.
My mother was NEVER Dxed by a doc and we NEVER went to court to have her deemed incompetent. However it was NOT NOT NOT NOT EVER safe to leave her to her own devices.
What does your sister the DPoA think about moving her? If she is authorizing it, then it stands. If I were in you shoes I'd make it clear that I'm not coming to help with Mom at all. Vote with your actions. They'll find out soon enough that it was a mistake.
I do agree with BarbBrooklyn who suggested that unless you hear this news directly from your sister or brother, it may be imagined by your mom, notes or no notes.
Until Mom is still anxious alone, still wants to go home, Brother & Wife are at work & then seem to have no privacy, no more holidays.
Calls to the OP start. Can you just.. this one time... I need you to take a turn.. why can't you take her for a while...
Of course, this is just ONE very judgemental scenario (based on own experience & others).
Happy ending exist too don't they??
when a parent moves there is always a 3-6 month adjustment period. My dad refused to leave his room for activities at first but finally adjusted and loved going to bingo. Many times to stop the whining, tears and fighting a sibling will just capitulate and think it’s the path of least resistance to move them out. They are thinking with the heart and not the head. Please don’t let him move her. Schedule the meeting route first.
POA only has the ability to intervene if the grantor is declared incompetent. This could be by 2 doctors, stated in the POA or it would need to be through the courts. Taking away anyone's autonomy is serious business and you have to read the documents carefully to understand what authority really exists.
If she wants to go and they want to have her, help them insure her safety, maybe hiring companion sitters while they are at work, maybe getting a housekeeper or a in home chef to prepare meals.
There are ways to make this work if all parties, your mom, brother and his spouse in this case, are willing.
From my personal experience some doctors are way to quick to pull the facility trigger.