My sister has Durable POA, Medical POA (I'm second). Per her request and recommendation of her doctor, Mom was moved to AL about 30 days ago. Did not want to live with any of her 7 children. She is not adjusting well, making an ungodly number of phone calls, wants to go home but she can't live by herself anymore. Tonight, one brother told her he would come and get her tomorrow and move her into his house. He and his wife both work, there will be no one there and the only thing that will change is her physical location, minus all that the AL facility is doing for her. Can he legally just do this?
Has he ever cared for her over any length of time--and I don't mean during a family dinner? He's in for a rude shock and I bet his wife isn't any too thrilled.
I'd let this simmer and not bring it up. It will probably blow over, don't stir this pot.
30 days isn't long enough to be acclimated to a new surrounding. Maybe you sibs all need to meet and talk and be on the same page per mom's care. ONE 'wildcard' can wreck the whole plan. In our case, the 'wildcard' moved mom in with him and 23 years later greatly regrets it.
feel she needs a arbitrary amount of time to like it, she doesn’t have to like it or stay, she has free will to leave.
assisted livings promote this narrative of seniors require a certain amount of time to like it, yada yada. Of course they do- It isn’t that hard to figure out this is a direct monetary benefit to the al if they can sell people on the belief. I hope the mom tells the sister or the Al to live there if they like it so much!! Good for her for standing up for herself, it’s her life her body her choice
You think that AL was the right move, but trying to upset things now could create a lot of anger. As you don’t have POA, you are better off letting mother call the shots, at least for a while.
What does your sister the DPoA think about moving her? If she is authorizing it, then it stands. If I were in you shoes I'd make it clear that I'm not coming to help with Mom at all. Vote with your actions. They'll find out soon enough that it was a mistake.
I do agree with BarbBrooklyn who suggested that unless you hear this news directly from your sister or brother, it may be imagined by your mom, notes or no notes.
Hopefully bro was just saying what mom wanted to hear. Pacifying her for the moment.