My brothers and sisters don't help take care of my schizophrenic mother, ok they don't help but they make it harder for me and her. They are all so selfish! My one brother is a severe drug addict, for years he has used my mums money and put her in dept! Now I am older, he has no chance of touching her money. When he visits he doesn't even look at me and lifts his nose at me. My one sister is a attention seeker and only cares about other people. E'g. If my mum was in need of a lift to the hospital, she can't help. But when my aunt(who Abandonned us all when we needed her) doesn't even ask for a lift, my sister goes running to help her. My other sister is an alcoholic(from what I have realised she cant go a day without alcohol!). She comes home and lifts her nose and shows me attitude. Comes home bad hours. She is near her 30's. She's always going on holidays because apparently SHE deserves it. As though she has been the one caring for my mum all these years. She comes home drunk All the time. Her actions effect my mother and I so much. But she is so selfish, apparently its her body her life why should it effect us? When she says that I say okay 'do whatever you want then!' She'll throw it back and be like no one cares about her! Wtf!
My other brother thinks he helps, but he's just so unappreciative and actually useless! Lately he has been vacuuming sometimes and shopping sometimes (but with my mothers money). He hasn't got a job! Yet can't even sit at home with my mother while im at work. YET is out 1pm to 12am. They are all so selfish. It hurts me and it hurts my mother, and hurts me more when I see her hurt! They don't understand how much I do! I gave up university and failed college (while my sister went to university and partied everyday) because I was always caring for my mother. I didnt get carers allowance for it because my sister said I was too young and had to be 21. Now I realise this was a lie as she was getting the carers allowance money. When she went to work she transferred it over to my sister in law. When Should gave been getting it. No actually! All these years Ive been pushing to get an outside carer for my mother(to whom the allowance would go to). But they always pit it off. Now I know they just wanted the allowance money!
My brother the wasteman recently had the audacity to ask to receive that money when he does nothing! Last year I left work and have been 24/7 doing house wirk and caring for my mother. And I dudnt get or ask for a penny. All these years they have been lying to me and using my mothers illness for their own selfish needs. Now I am back at work 9-6 then I come home and cook and clean and care for my mother. Then sleep. Then repeat. I ask my brother and sister to help and they don't lift a finger. I don't know what the to do! Im just so exhausted. Right now im in the process of arranging someone to come in and care for my mother while im at work. I'm 21 now. So I can speak up and protect my mum mentally and financially.
What can I do? I've had too many arguments with my siblings about this I just dont know what to do? I'm going to have another emotional breakdown. Although I clean both bathrooms, kitchen, bedrooms, dining rooms and take care of my mother and cook and go to work. As though I'M the one who does nothing. When my mother dies, they are all going to be the one crying loud when they did nothing but make her suffer more. And when she does die I will make sure I make them feel bad about it!!!! i just needed someone to tell this to. Because my so called friends cant spare a minute to listen to me and be there for me. I'm always there for them but get nothing back! They don't understand. 21 years and I dint have any real friends or social life, I can't trust my family and am about to have a breakdown! I hate it when older people judge me by my age and say I am young, dknt't understand and am spoilt. When they have no idea what I have beEn through and am going through. Someone please give me positivity! x
You have two brothers and a sister? It wasn't clear to me, how many of you live together?
I'm going to be blunt...get out. I'm glad you are working again, take your pay and find a new place to live and focus your energy on yourself and your future. Get that education you missed out on if you are able. And get some therapy, the level of dysfunction in your family is bound to have skewed your perceptions of the world and what is normal. Once you have a stable life for yourself you will be better able to help your mom, and with distance you may see more clearly the difference between her real needs and the co dependent relationship you all seem to be participating in.
"it is what it is."
Schizophrenia is a tough row to hoe, both for the person who has it and the person who loves someone with it. The person with it is often paranoid and afraid of exactly the wrong things, and so vulnerable to being taken in and abused. It is OK to use your mom's funds to get a legal consultation or see an estate planner, and if there are not funds for that, a social services agency, even the area agency on aging even if she is not that old might be of help in finding services.