There is a sibling who underhandedly coerced the parents suggesting that his way would be more beneficial to them financially. The sibling encouraged parents to assign him the right to handle all financial affairs knowing that the elderly parents are not cognizant of the sibling's under-handed intentions. The siblings changed the will, insurance beneficiaries including the removal of a more responsible sibling's name from the policy, designated himself as power of attorney for their financial affairs, continuous mismanagement of parents annuities, social security and ultimately had the parents to sign their house in her, depriving the other siblings from their parent's inheritance. What can be done to rectify the exploitation of elderly parents?
Where do you fit into this story?
Yes, big brother is the only POA. Please sign atleast 2 people to be your POA; and they even state 2 people who dont get along.
My brother cleared out my dads home and i have none of the family heirlooms including photos of us growing up, no photos of my mom who passed away years ago.
One clue that i didnt act on, but it may of been to late even then, is my dad said to me he was told not to trust me. This was years ago. I told my dad then that i may be the only most trustworthy person he may know. I really wish he had listened to me then as i only want the best for my dad, not isolation which he has now. I want my dad involved in all of our lives, including relatives and friends, in his last years.
Like i said earlier this is now happening to many others. I am not alone. I hope you will find a solution.
Actually, I just went through all the steps to make my layer and bank the POA.
My daughter and her children will inherit--what I leave them.
Not what she takes.
Sad, but...
This way the grandchildren are protected and money will be used in rational manner. for "life-launching" expenses.
1. POA can only be assigned by an attorney who works with the elder. The assigned POA has no say in the POA assignment. The parent and attorney chooses.
2. Wills can only be done by an attorney who works with the elder. Children have no say in the written will.
3. Attorney's will tell the caregiver or the parent's POA to take in all personal property to take an accounting of it, especially when there are other children fighting over it. The first reason for this is and this is shocking, until that parent has passed, their personal property still belongs to that parent. It is the responsibility of the assigned POA/Caregiver to protect that property from others who will take it as well as dispose of any property as the parent wishes, that might be a garage sale or estate sale even. Just because a parent is in care, does not mean everyone divides up their stuff. But a POA might be forced to gather it all to protect it if siblings are fighting over property.
4. Children cannot have a home signed over to them, even with a POA. But it would be easy for someone who's not in the legal field to make that assumption, and of course if that assumption were made, then of course the POA must have taken everything else too, right.... First consider if the home is even paid off or not, if it's not then someone has to pay that mortgage, so who's paying it? Lots of things to consider over all. Also if a parent is in nursing care and they have a home, Medicare will only pay for nursing care for a very limited time, after that you have to pay out of pocket, if you can't pay out of pocket for nursing home care, and you own property, you have to liquidate everything to qualify for Medicaid to pay for nursing home care. Just a note. Said sibling might be actually preserving the family estate.
5. Insurance has to be used to pay for final expenses, and if several siblings are bickering over that money because they want it, then how will those final expenses be paid? Some times someone has to just simply stand their ground to do what's right, gather everything up and protect it. Especially caregivers and POA's, who surely will be hit with a final expense bill if there is no insurance.
6. Elder care and abuse. Nursing homes are often horrid, and they run that way. Home care is a blessing often in comparison. State inspectors have seen it all, if they are called more than once on an obviously good situation in a home for an elder, they can press charges over anyone who makes false accusations and continues to call them.
7. Realigning in a proper manner with your brother or sister, might help, have a calm family meeting might help.
Overall if you have a sibling who is taking care of everything logically, calmly and legally, be grateful for them. They'd probably appreciate it.
As far as inheriting--ah, that old issue can be so ugly. I know mother has divided her estate up equally amongst us 4 remaining sibs, BUT my brother, with whom she lives, SHOULD inherit more. When the time comes, I may likely just gift my inheritance to him. My other 2 sibs are independently wealthy and the money would mean nothing to them, to my brother, who has put his life on hold for 17 years for dad, and now mother--this inheritance will mean the world.
To my knowledge, a POA cannot stop others from visiting loved ones--POA isn't complete control, it's a legal thing.
My brother doesn't exploit mother, but my elder brother (now deceased) certainly did, and my younger sister did also. They both took advantage of mother's weak spots for them and cleaned her out years ago. Live and learn--I won't let this same thing happen to me.