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A sibling has POA for a family friend who was very close to my Mom. My Mom died and my sibling now has POA for the friend, who is in her 90s. My sibling has announced that $75hr FT is not unreasonable to pay herself for managing the health necessities for the elder person, who is in a memory care unit. All 3 siblings are supposed to inherit equally from this individual's estate. Is there a misuse of funds issue here?

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Yes, if they are in full time care, there is no way they additionally need a full time private duty person. Paying more than one would for a registered nurse is overreaching. That said, some companion services or consultants might charge that much per hour, but would not be expecting to work full time for one person. I'm assuming that's what you mean by FT. POAs who are not acting in the best interest of the person can be removed, but it would take going to court I think. What is the sibling's explanation for the rate and the time spent?
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Is she an attorney? I do not know how much she has to deal with or if there is a large estate that she has to oversee even though this woman is in a facility. I however feel like she is basically robbing the woman's estate and cheating the other siblings out of their inheritance at $75 per hour. This seems outrageous to me and it makes me wonder if there is a fee stated in this woman's trust that states what she was to be paid or if she was to be paid at all!

I am full time caregiver and hold POA for Financial as well as Health issues and I am paid nothing. My parents trust did not state that any of us would be paid for holding this position/s. I would love to be paid for everything I do but that isn't going to happen as I would have a fight on my hands, even though I have given up about 8 years of my life to caring for my parents.

I think that if this is your sister then the 3 of you need to sit down and have a discussion about her "salary" and would she make this much if she were holding a full time job? Chances are the answer is NO. I would also seek legal advice from an attorney prior to the discussion.
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Thank you for your helpful ideas. This is a situation in which the sibling is thinking that "balancing the checkbook is what an accountant does," and "making sure her taxes are done correctly," and "coordinating any new medical needs is what a doctor would do," so the "as if" is turning into "the average of these professional salaries." The "FT" (full-time) concept is that this is taking away from her regular work which she can't do PT so she'd therefore by default need this on a FT basis. I'm highly skeptical. I think POA payment is reasonable, but one has to define what's reasonable. I've heard that in some states, there are POA self-pay limits, but in others there is not a legally imposed limit. I also question whether or not there is 'undue influence' (the elder who feels dependent upon the sibling is willing to 'give anything' to feel safe...), and there's an added factor that this sibling is in financial need, and is looking at this as a 'job opportunity.' I've heard that POA should *not* be considered a) a job; b) a career. But a reasonable payment for the POA duties is, to my understanding, often accepted and that as long as it is written into the POA and agreed upon by the elder, this is legal. The question of the slippery slope of 'how much is too much' $-wise is a big issue. Also, this can be seen as 'let me get my inheritance now when I need it' not 'later' - is, I think, part of the underlying justification though it might not be acknowledged as such. As this is sibling who has the POA, while the other 2 do not, the question of balancing out interests and powers is ever-present. I certainly did not expect this emotional morass. I know that most other families do not anticipate this, either. One simply hopes "fairness wins out." Then, all of a sudden, "fair" turns into "fair game" and it's open season - paradoxically - creating all manner of - secretiveness. A sad situation, one that I am not proud of for the siblings. We should be able to find an ethical high ground and stand together in support of the elder, which is the GOAL. A person has lived a full life and is now in need. How quickly the human life span moves. Our ethics should be a blanket of care. Self-interest should be locked away in a filing cabinet, marked 'poison, beware.'...!!! Thank you for your kind replies.
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I would say you should speak to an attorney and get some legal advice. Even if she is POA she still has to answer to those who stand to inherit. She may be taking her inheritance now, but when this woman dies, she will plan on still taking 1/3 of what remains, so in my mind she is basically stealing from the woman. It takes me about 10 minutes to balance the checkbook and I pay bills from the computer which may be 30 minutes, writing a check for taxes 5 minutes. I bet I do everything this person does and care for my mother full time, the woman you spoke of is cared for in a facility. If you counted the amount of time she invests into this womans affairs I doubt you could honestly come up with more than 5 hours a week and that is being very generous, very generous! This is NOT A FULL TIME JOB and if she is unable to do it and work, then perhaps one of the other siblings should take it over and relieve her of her duties.
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I agree what others said that you should speak with an attorney. In addition, your sister may have narcissistic qualities where she feels she has a sense of entitlement.
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Thank you to all who so thoughtfully addressed the issues. It's difficult to challenge one's sibling on these matters. There's no question of her commitment and caring, which are rock solid, regarding elder care. Indeed, based upon the conversations and advice here, I spoke with her at length last night and she has come to a better relationship with 'money' and 'caregiving' and her POA ethics. We had some challenging parts to the dialogue, but she sees now that a change of understanding is required around the financial situation. Thanks to all for your extremely helpful words.
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