I have a sister who was my moms best friend her whole life, but now that mom needs care she has completely washed her hands of her. She doesn't even call her. She doesn't want to know about how she is doing so she doesn't have to care. She comes south for the winter and is only two hours away but doesn't come to visit. It's hard!! Mom has Dementia so she doesn't really get it....She defends her all the time..... I guess I need to just accept. But it's hard!! Caregiver burnout?? Yes!!
God bless you an keep you strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bottom line: You deserve the time and attention from yourself to you are wasting on her.
Sometimes you must face the music and realize that your on your own with your Mother.I understand what your going thru.Been their and done it my self as we speak.Sounds like you need a break.There maybe many good reasons why your sibling doesn't come around.If your sibling is married maybe she's having marrage problems or family problems of her own to deal with.There's a reason why your mother is with you and not your sibling.Have you asked your sister why she doesn't come around?Your sister may not be able to swallow as much as you can with your Mother.As of now it's only you.
I'm in your situation and I know - it's hard. But above everything else, I ask myself if - given the choice - would I abandon my parents and leave their care to someone else, or would I take it on myself? I'd take it on, and I have. So now that's my life, do I get on with the task at hand, or do I resent my siblings? A little bit of both, but at the end of the day, I'm doing what *I* think is right for me and my conscience, and screw everyone else. I have one sibling that I *know* will be full of regret after the death of our parents, but that's their problem, not mine. All you can do is nurture yourself so that you have the health and the energy to go on NOW, and then afterwards....well, you'll know you did everything you could with the resources you had, and everyone else can deal with their emotions and guilt their own way.
Live knowing that you're doing what you think is right. You can't make other selfish people change their ways. But you don't have to be there for them to make them feel better about their regrets later on.
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