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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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concernedsis, does your sister want you to help her full-time or part-time, or to help take her to appointments and get groceries? Are you caregiving material? Not all of us are cut out to do this type of work, and there is nothing wrong with that.
What are you sister's medical issues? I see from your profile it is mobility, anything else? If only mobility, are you young and strong enough to help her move from her bed to a wheelchair then onto the toilet? Or is still able to do the by herself, at this point in time?
Are you a senior citizen yourself? If yes, this will age you very quickly. I was in my late 60's dealing with parents in their 90's. I just couldn't do what they thought I could still do. In their eyes, I was still that 35 yr old lifting weights. The ship sailed a few years back.
My Dad had around the clock caregivers, each doing an 8 hr shift. And that was costing him $20k per month. Then he decided to move into Assisted Living and that cost was less than half what he was paying the caregivers, who were from an Agency, and who were super great :)
So, you have a lot to think about regarding this request.
Though you can't force her to pay you if she doesn't want to (unless you have a contract, in which can you can force her... in court), she also cannot force you to provide caregiving for free. If you wish to provide free caregiving, that's different. Do so on your own terms. Lots of people choose this path. But if you want to be paid for your services, you have every right to be paid. What you need is a care agreement that spells everything out. You've gotten excellent advice about how to communicate with your sister about what you want. It's important to have these discussions up front to stave off misunderstanding and hard feelings later.
Concerned, are you saying that you don't want to be her caregiver, or are you saying that you will do it if you get paid?
In either situation, make sure that your answer ( chosen from the many terrific examples provided) is short, clear and understood by sis. Don't waffle, don't try to soften the message.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly do that. Would you like me to help you find a reputable aide?"
"Sister dear, I really enjoy your company. But if I am to be your caregiver I will need to be financially compensated."
"No, I'm not in a position to take an unpaid job. I need to prepare for my own old age."
"Are you out of your mind? You expect me to serve you, after all the rotten things you've done to me. Not on you life!"
"If I worked for an agency I would get paid, and they would add on their fees to the bill. We can cut out the middleman and you can save some money!"
"I love you dearly, Sister, but I can't afford to work without getting paid."
"I'm so flattered that you want me to be your caregiver! Let's talk about how we'll handle the payments and taxes and stuff."
But really, I'll bet it is not words you are looking for. It is some encouragement, perhaps? Confirmation that you should get paid? Yes, you certainly should be paid. And you can certainly tell your sister that directly. That may be a new experience after all these years of being the younger sister, but you certainly can summon up your courage and just do it!
I'm not sure what you mean by "legally" get her to pay, but I certainly advise you against taking any illegal actions :-)
Once the two of you settle on an amount and what your duties are, that should be written up in a care agreement. Look up this topic for explanations of such agreements. And this might be something to print out and discuss with your sister: How to Compensate a Family Member for Providing Care
By saying no. Or no thank you, if you want to give her the polite version.
Of course, that feels a little too simple. Your sister wants you to be her caregiver, and has no plans to pay you any compensation for your time or trouble. Well, she can want whatever she likes - but why would you feel obliged to comply? Are you having trouble refusing, for some reason?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What are you sister's medical issues? I see from your profile it is mobility, anything else? If only mobility, are you young and strong enough to help her move from her bed to a wheelchair then onto the toilet? Or is still able to do the by herself, at this point in time?
Are you a senior citizen yourself? If yes, this will age you very quickly. I was in my late 60's dealing with parents in their 90's. I just couldn't do what they thought I could still do. In their eyes, I was still that 35 yr old lifting weights. The ship sailed a few years back.
My Dad had around the clock caregivers, each doing an 8 hr shift. And that was costing him $20k per month. Then he decided to move into Assisted Living and that cost was less than half what he was paying the caregivers, who were from an Agency, and who were super great :)
So, you have a lot to think about regarding this request.
In either situation, make sure that your answer ( chosen from the many terrific examples provided) is short, clear and understood by sis. Don't waffle, don't try to soften the message.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly do that. Would you like me to help you find a reputable aide?"
"Sister dear, I really enjoy your company. But if I am to be your caregiver I will need to be financially compensated."
"No, I'm not in a position to take an unpaid job. I need to prepare for my own old age."
"Are you out of your mind? You expect me to serve you, after all the rotten things you've done to me. Not on you life!"
"If I worked for an agency I would get paid, and they would add on their fees to the bill. We can cut out the middleman and you can save some money!"
"I love you dearly, Sister, but I can't afford to work without getting paid."
"I'm so flattered that you want me to be your caregiver! Let's talk about how we'll handle the payments and taxes and stuff."
But really, I'll bet it is not words you are looking for. It is some encouragement, perhaps? Confirmation that you should get paid? Yes, you certainly should be paid. And you can certainly tell your sister that directly. That may be a new experience after all these years of being the younger sister, but you certainly can summon up your courage and just do it!
I'm not sure what you mean by "legally" get her to pay, but I certainly advise you against taking any illegal actions :-)
Once the two of you settle on an amount and what your duties are, that should be written up in a care agreement. Look up this topic for explanations of such agreements. And this might be something to print out and discuss with your sister:
How to Compensate a Family Member for Providing Care
Of course, that feels a little too simple. Your sister wants you to be her caregiver, and has no plans to pay you any compensation for your time or trouble. Well, she can want whatever she likes - but why would you feel obliged to comply? Are you having trouble refusing, for some reason?