Our sister's name was put on our mother's house 7 years ago to keep a nursing home from taking it if our mom would get that ill. Well our mother is in a nursing home now. Our sister went behind our back and did a reverse mortgage with the title. Now we get nothing. We had a lawyer and he said the title was free and clear. But in Mom and Dad's will they wanted the house split 3 ways. What do we do?
As far as the reverse mortgage goes - I can't help but wonder - as others have - did that money go towards the cost of living in the house for both your sister and your mother. How were the bills being paid? Retirement Social Security rarely stretches far enough to provide a basic standard of living for most people.
Elders often tell their caregiving child that they will be compensated in the will, or with house ownership, etc. Sometimes that can't happen, because all of the money goes toward their care and there is nothing left to inherit. Yours is a little happier scenario. At least the caregiver is getting something of value.
But I can understand that this is not the outcome you were expecting and it is not happier for you. Unfortunately, family seldom have discussions about the caregiver role and how it is to be compensated.
Live-in caregiver compensation includes room and board. The dollar amount varies with the skill level needed, the part of the country, whether the person needs a lot of help during the night, etc. But $210 a day is not uncommon -- neither the lowest or highest.
7 years x 365 days x $210 = $536,550. That is approximately what it would have cost to hire a stranger to do the caregiving. But you say Sis was the caregiver "sometimes." Let's say that amounted to half of the 7 years. Cost = $268,275. And lets say that part of that time Mom needed less than 24/7 care. Let's reduce it by half again. An agency would have been paid $134,137 to provide the care your sister provided.
And what is Sister getting by having the house? If some or all of the reverse mortgage money was spent on Mother care, then that can't be counted, but let's say for calculation sake that the house title was free and clear. If the house had been split 3 ways, she would have gotten about $46,000 (ignoring the cost of selling). But instead she got the entire house ($140,000) -- and extra $93,000 extra.
So your sister provided AT LEAST $134,137 worth of care, and she is compensated $93,000. Sounds to me like your whole family got a bargain, and mother had the comfort of family members in her home.
The house is your sister's. Accept that. And perhaps you and sib should also send her a nice box of chocolates and a thank you card for keeping your mother out of a nursing home as long as she could.
What's in the will does not govern until she dies. If she does not own the house when she dies (and she won't), then you are not entitled to anything.
If the intent was to make sure the asset was taken out of the equation for Medicaid, it worked but at the same time, steps could have been taken at that time to make sure it remained an inheritance for all (putting it into the name of a trust with all children as trustees or at least lanugage as to the sale and distribution, or in all of your names).
Have you directly talked to your sister as to why she may have done this? Perhaps she incurred debt in taking care of your mother?
I'm not saying she was right to do so, but at the same time, there's not enough information here to give guidance. It may be a lost cause, but without knowing your sister's reasoning, I'm not sure what could be said or done to rectify the situation or determine if there is a situation in the first place.
With her name on the title, she could take such an action. You can't undo that necessarily (depending on the situation), but at first glance, my question is - have you spoken to your sister to see why it was done?
If only your sister is on the Deed, then the house is hers to do with what she wants. I assume she was Mom's caregiver, correct? Being a caregiver is very exhausting work. I wouldn't do it full-time for any $$ amount.
Now, if both Mom and your Sister's names were on the Deed, that's a whole different ballgame. Please let us know how the Deed was written.
If you were doing equal amount of full-time of caregiving with your sister, then go to an Elder Law Attorney and see what he/she would recommend.
Let me ask you - again, trying to see the big picture. What would have happened to mom had your sister not moved in with her? Would mom have been able to remain in the house? Who would have been moms caregiver and what would that have looked like? Full-time, part-time, round the clock? What level of care did your mother need? Cooking, bathing, incontinence issues?
Lastly, how do your figure that your mothers property tax was your sisters bill? Was your sister the owner of the house at the time?
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