My 92-year-old FIL had a tiny stroke 2 years ago. He has some mental restrictions now. He cannot work the microwave or a phone. After 2 years, he can set his thermostat accurately most of the time. He can remember his favorite TV stations and what time his favorite shows are on. His balance is off, he won’t exercise, and he won’t leave his rooms. He doesn’t like to read. All he does is watch TV. He doesn’t like people, but he needs me to spend time with him several times a day.
I am looking for ways to keep his mind active.
I have tried simple large-piece puzzles, but those aren’t working. He will sit and try, he likes the colors and the completed picture, but he cannot put the pieces together unless I hand one to him and show him exactly where it goes. He seems to enjoy sitting with me and trying, but it has to be hard to not get it, though he doesn’t act frustrated. I ask him to look for edge pieces. He seems to forget what his task is because he starts trying to put pieces together, which never go together. He will look for edges for a minute or two and then go back to trying to put pieces together.
He enjoys trying to match Old Maid, UNO and face cards, but with just two of us, it is hard to have him “win”. Games like concentration I think are good for him, but don’t work well if we play against each other.
I hope some of you can suggest activities or tasks that he/we can do while sitting for about a half hour at a time. Things that exercise his mind and gives him a sense of accomplishment.
Thanks.
I was thinking the same thing. Fish tanks are a lot of upkeep.
Do you have outside space? I planted a 3x6 foot butterfly garden last year. We had tons butterflies, hummingbirds, and bees around. It would require research to see what works best in your area.
You could look up some of the chair exercise programs but use your own music. Don't treat it like exercise, say your going to learn a new dance. I take bellydance classes and we dance at a lot of nursing and assisted living facilities. Memory care residents really love it. It's because of the music and colourful costumes. We pass out tambourines and beads, get them clapping and dancing in their seats.
How about pour painting? You would need to setup an area to do it in because it's messy. Basically, you use Elmers glue all mixed with water, acrylic paint, and canvas. Gravity does the rest. He could pick out the colors and help tilt the canvas. Here's a basic tutorial.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mYJtbZ0nPgk
The one thing I will caution against are fish. You have to be committed to giving your fish a healthy habitat. Depending on tank size and the fish, you looking at 30 mins or more of weekly maintenance. Water has to be tested and changed, substrate vacuumed, and the filter media needs to be cleaned. If a fish gets sick, you need to be able to quarantine them, which requires another tank or plastic tub, an extra filter, and air pump.
If you want to try keeping fish, get something hardy that stays small. I use to have a fancy goldfish. They are messy, require a lot of tank maintenance and at least a 20 gallon tank. They don't get as big as common goldfish but still need space.
Dad also has his routines. He insists on washing his dishes before I take them back to the house. I let him because there is so little he can physically do. He likes to tidy up his bed. He refused to exercise after his stroke so he balance isn’t good and he is weak. His comprehension is limited.
My husband will get him talking about the past. Sadly, he always ends up crying, which he hates. He is less likely to cry with me.
Hooking a tablet, etc., to the TV is great idea. Thanks. 🌸
1. Music. You asked about relaxing music. YES, absolutely - one of the best sources for emotional relaxation or stimulation! To quote the famous observation of William Congreve, "Music has charms to soothe a savage breast (or beast)", depending on which source you read.
Music soothes and relaxes, and can also inspire activity. It might even encourage your FIL to exercise. It really motivates me, especially to do housework for which I have no enthusiasm.
I was thinking about a little foot exerciser my father used as he listened to music.
https://www.riteaid.com/shop/exercise-peddler-with-attractive-silver-vein-finish-silver-vein-0297273?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8vOXtoiC5wIVEPDACh39zAlsEAQYBCABEgLQbvD_BwE
These are available through some of the miscellaneous stuff catalogues, (Walter Drake, etc.) and at Rite-Aid, Target and other stores with more advanced models. It's a good way to institute exercise while seated and listening to music.
2. Fish inspire peace as well; just watching them is a diversionary tactic which I think has a calming effect similar to music. Kelp type foliage which gently waves and moves in the fish tank is also very soothing.
3. Horses. You asked for a link to horses and baseball; I assume you meant coloring books?
https://doverpublications.ecomm-search.com/search?keywords=horse+coloring+books
Link is for primarily horse coloring books with a few more diversified ones which include horses. Some of the coloring books are more general, and include other animals.
4. Baseball coloring books:
Baseball books, including coloring books:
https://doverpublications.ecomm-search.com/search?keywords=baseball
Baseball coloring books only:
https://doverpublications.ecomm-search.com/search?keywords=baseball+coloring+books
I think the search function overreacted as it includes coloring books which seem to have no relation to baseball. The first book, Story of Baseball, would probably be the best
https://store.doverpublications.com/0486267482.html
If you scroll through the Google Preview you can get an idea of the varied scenes.
(Now the lyrics of "...when Mighty Casey struck out" are running through my mind.)
I hope this helps; let me know if you want info on anything else.
Several have mentioned fish being a good idea. And moving kelp is a good idea. I’m just not sure I am up to keeping a tank clean. He has two dogs, we have 2 cats, 2 horses and three donkeys.
Thanks for the coloring book links. I can’t see him coloring, but he might fool me. He may not think it is manly.
He cannot do simple puzzles, they don’t make sense to him.
Hope you find a new song to occupy your mind. 😉
zero stress and fun — excellent goals worth striving for. Thank you, bluefinspirit, for your help. 🌸
https://www.seniorlink.com/blog/activities-for-dementia-patients-50-tips-and-ideas-to-keep-patients-with-dementia-engaged
Good luck........you are a wonderful DIL to be helping your FIL out this way, bravo to you!!!
Find things that fit with what he always seemed to like. My mother was always very artistic and loved "creating," so the adult coloring books were perfect for her. Great for the fine motor skills, too.
I don't know if your father would take to this, but my mother the LOVES "balloon ball" game her caregiver plays with her. Quite simple really: get two of those foam swim noodles, a few balloons (they do tend to pop occasionally) and two chairs. Sit about 8-10 ft apart and hit the balloon back and forth. It gets my mom's arms and body moving and helps hand-eye coordination.
Link on the health benefits of bingo: https://www.leisurecare.com/resources/why-do-seniors-love-bingo/
He lives in a little trailer next to our house with his two dogs.
Bingo is a good idea.
And he is a western movie man. He has seen most of many, many times.
That and shark tank.
I let him wash his dishes, though I have to rewash them.
Thank you!
UtahPilot, Dover has a extensive selection of coloring books, ranging from those for children and those for adults. And it wouldn't even matter if the colors match or anything - he'd be making a choice in selecting the pictures and colors, so there's some element of executive decision making.
I get free sample selections on a weekly basis by e-mail. They're copyright free; I've printed some out and used them to make cards. Samples range from flowers, animals, cars, trucks, and (given your screenname) WWII plants.
Let me know if you want links or specific categories.
I think that dominoes, Chinese checkers, or Tri-ominoes could also work. It doesn't matter if the numbers or colors don't match, it's the idea of creating random combinations that could stimulate him. These games can be played alone; that's what I often do when I need a diversion.
And play soft or his favorite music during activities; it helps induce relaxation.
I will try the coloring; I can’t see him doing that, but definitely worth a try.
I think bird feeders are an excellent idea. It could be tricky because we have a lot of high wind. Maybe my neighbors have some ideas.
I do think of myself as his entertainment committee. 😏