Apologies if I rant, I'm just a bit overwhelmed. My mom, who is recovering from a stroke w/hemiplegia, moved in with us a few weeks ago. Suddenly my home has been re-organized to accomodate her and my plans have been set aside so I can be her primary Caregiver. I'm 55 and my husband and daughter help me so I can have some me time a few times a week, going to the gym or cleaning my house. I am struggling with seeing the positive aspects of this new life and family dynamic, even though I know it is the right thing to do before considering a SNF. My issue is that my Mom is now able to use her walker now during the day to go the the bathroom (must be accompanied and assisted) and normally stays dry; it also wears her out a bit, and she naps some during the day. BUT when she lays down after her 8PM meds, she watches TV and falls asleep but gets up generally every 2-3 hours requesting to be changed! I personally have never been able to nap during the day and it takes almost an hour for me to go back to sleep at night! I once got a spotty 6 hours of broken sleep one night, but I am exhausted! I wish she would not notice every time she urinates, but I know she's uncomfortable and doesn't realize in the moment how exhausted it makes me to get up all night, not to mention everyone else is awakened. Once she slept through the night about 7 hours, her gown is soaked with urine in the AM; not fun for anyone, and since I anticipated her waking me up, no way did I get a good sleep. She needs to rest her brain sometimes to boost recovery, so keeping her awake all day is not an option, and she cannot go anywhere herself. Short of hiring someone to sit with her all night (very costly), any other options out there? I feel like it just is what it is. Maybe melatonin could help us both? Looking for answers from some of you courageous Caregivers... Thank you.
What about a bedside commode?
After a lifetime of using the toilet, it’s very difficult to accustom ourselves to urinating in an incontinence brief and then trying to sleep in it. Even a small amount of wetness can be uncomfortable. If she does suffer from too-frequent urination, maybe a call to her doctor might be in order.
If she is only dribbling small quantities each time, would it be possible to get her to do Kegel exercises to strengthen her bladder control muscles? Her health problems may still leave her willing to learn and to try.
Another option that you could consider, although you probably won’t like it, is to refuse to change her when she calls. She won’t like it either, but she may adjust. The alternative may be for her to go to a facility, and faced with that alternative she may be willing to be less demanding. It may be that a facility wouldn't be willing to change her several times a night anyway. How difficult it all is!
I wouldn't let her drink juice in the afternoon, it causes me to be up and down all night. Water only after 2pm and if she needs a high protein snack maybe a couple of eggs or grilled chicken, some cheese but no liquid protein.
Does she always go potty right before heading to bed? If you stay up later then her I would wake her up to go before I went to bed. Then you would at least get 2 or 3 hours.
You'll find the solution with modifying her routine.
It is really important that you have a plan b, you can't sacrifice your health to care for her. They do get to a point that it takes a village.
2 dreadful issues - lack of sleep and incontinence. Hugs!
Can she change her own underwear sitting on the side of the bed? Maybe have her take the wet one off and put a dry one on. Keep a trash can right there.
But I'm with you! Thank You. I'll figure something out...
update: I read your post on no liquids after 6 PM, I am sorry that I didn't see that before I posted this.