During the day I deal with my mother 93 who has constant anxiety attacks, hyperventilating, paranoia, etc. My sister and her friend came over last night and you would never know that she has anything wrong with her let alone dementia. She was lucid, offering to make coffee and walking without her walker. I know it is showtiming but it makes me look like a liar. It's going to drive me crazy.
There can be many reasons. Our loved ones may showtime for us so we don't put them in a facility but that façade doesn't last long.
Or they may showtime for Dr.'s and other medical personnel so we (as medical personnel) don't think they're sick.
Since we can't usually get an answer out of someone who showtimes about whey they do it all we can do is guess. My guess is that the loved one feels threatened, feels that their independence is being threatened. Which it usually is. They don't want their routine being upended and they usually want everything to stay just as it is.
They won't admit to having any pain or having any difficulty whatsoever out of fear that their routine may change, or that they may end up in a nursing home. So they deny, deny, deny. I'd do the same thing in their place.
That's my own personal opinion based on my experience. I'm working with a patient right now who had a stroke that affected his right side. His right hand is swollen and is painful. I know it's painful because I reached for his right hand once and he winced and jerked it back. I asked him how long he's had that pain and he denied having pain. I asked him to squeeze my fingers as hard as he could and his right hand could barely squeeze my fingers. But he will not admit that his hand is painful. He has a walker and he can't really navigate it using his right hand but he will deny all day long that his hand hurts. He wants---needs---everything to stay the same so he can stay in his home.
Denial and avoidance are two of the reasons why people behave one way with some people and behave another way with other people. Showtiming is hard work, it takes a lot of energy which is why it can't be sustained for long. Cracks start to appear. Our elderly loved ones want to hang onto their independence and their house and will do anything, try anything, to make sure they accomplish that.