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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Could you elaborate about what you mean by family shut down? I think I know what you mean. Just want to make sure we are on the same page before I respond.
Thank you for asking. Our very small family consists of my Ma, me and my brother. We all live together. My Ma is 83. I am 60 and my brother is a young 43(single dad)( not expected). It has been a big adjustment. Ma has taken a curve in her health and we all just seem to not talk anymore because of it. We are missing some kind of communication. I wish to try and get it back..
If there are things you feel should be discussed why not ask for a family meeting in home or in a coffee shop, meet and ask your questions, or ask if anyone feels there are any things that need discussing? Clearly you think there are, so appropriately bring up your thoughts and questions and see if any have any input.
The problem is we all live together. My brother who is 17 years younger than me. I am 60, Ma is 83 and he is 43. This whole scenario is not what we expected. We are all in different stages in our live’s and communication is very difficult!! Thank you so much for your idea. I very much appreciate it. Time to get creative huh?
I am so sorry that things aren’t going smoothly. Please don’t feel like you are alone. It happens to many of us. Not all siblings get along for various reasons.
You say that you all live together. Is this in your mom’s house? Your house? Do you want to live with them? Have you ever thought of being on your own?
They moved in with me. It was supposed to be my Ma and me. My brother happened a week later. My brother and I clash.I feel our age difference might be an issue. Ma and I do fine. It’s just that she is having health issues and I feel alone trying to help her. We have become distant since her health has been failing...
Oh, okay. Thanks for clarifying. It may be due to the big age span but my brothers are closer in age to me and we don’t get along either. Like I said, you aren’t alone. Unfortunately, a lot of us have difficulty with our siblings.
So, who invited him to live in your home? Can you ask him to leave? It is hard enough caring for a parent. Yes, the relationship changes when we become our parent’s caregiver. It just does. It puts a strain on the relationship. I’m sorry this is so hard. I have been there too.
My caregiver days are over but I did it for a very long time! Mom is now living with my brother and sister in law. His interference and mom’s favoritism pushed me over the edge. I love mom. I care but it became too much.
Do you want your brother to move out? Stay and help? Why did he move in?
Have you thought of going to therapy? I did. It helps.
Charzfancytoy, I agree with comments posted, especially NHWM: what do you want the outcome to be? If it's to continue to care for you mom at home, is that realistic if it's just you? It sounds like your brother moved in and then you had an expectation that he would also be caring for/paying for your mom? Is he working full time? It's not fair to him for you to have had unexpressed expectations after he moved in. It's also not fair if your mother has expectations of continual home care provided by family, as things can devolve to the point of her needing more than what can physically, financially and emotionally be provided by family. If you can pinpoint what you think will "solve" your dilemma, let us know.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You say that you all live together. Is this in your mom’s house? Your house? Do you want to live with them? Have you ever thought of being on your own?
So, who invited him to live in your home? Can you ask him to leave? It is hard enough caring for a parent. Yes, the relationship changes when we become our parent’s caregiver. It just does. It puts a strain on the relationship. I’m sorry this is so hard. I have been there too.
My caregiver days are over but I did it for a very long time! Mom is now living with my brother and sister in law. His interference and mom’s favoritism pushed me over the edge. I love mom. I care but it became too much.
Do you want your brother to move out? Stay and help? Why did he move in?
Have you thought of going to therapy? I did. It helps.