looking after my mum with dementia, 24/7, is causing severe depression and I also have ptsd through a robbery on my dads home were I and my dad were nearly killed, my dad is also ill ptsd and depression and needs a hip replacement suffering severe pain and can hardly walk, so im looking after both, I get no sleep of a night what so ever im up and down the stairs all night as I put my mum to bed she gets up all the time, I put her back to bed and shes up again, this carries on till about 7 in the morning while im following her sobbing and exhausted, I tried all tablets but they don't work, she fights it, then I out her on nytol bingo, it worked for so long now the effect has worn of, she is on the go all day and all night and will nod of for an hour or so in the day, surly to god there's got to be something out there, I genuinely feel as if im having a breakdown but cant fully because there's no way I would put my mum in care, I will carry on till I drop, she needs to go into respite care just the days only, but she wont go and I no she will be looking for me and crying, I don't no what to do maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she had a normal sleep pattern, you wouldn't let a dog suffer in this way never mind a human being alzimers and dementia are horrible cruel life destroying illnesses I feel for for you all who care for your loved ones, don't no how much longer I can cope this is cruel so cruel
I absolutely could not have kept my husband home, no matter how much I loved him, if his doctors had not been able to solve the challenge of his restless nights. You cannot be an effective caregiver with continuous sleep deprivation. It is not fair to you and it is not safe for your loved ones.
I see only two safe solutions:
1) Get medical assistance to solve the problem. This may take trying more than one solution until one works.
2) Hire a night caregiver.
That's it.
Having both parents go to a day program and getting your sleep during the day may be useful, too, but most people have a very tough time adjusting to that reversal of normal sleep patterns.
You may be willing to carry on until you drop, but what will your mother and father do with you gone? You need a solution that protects your sanity and health, for your parents' sake as well as for you.
Start with Mother's doctor.
Whatever that answer is, needs to happen now. I applaud you for trying to take care of her, but you have done it as long as you can. We have all been in a similar position and we appreciate what you are going through.
Overall she is content and easy going, but when she lost her eyesight she was hell on wheels at night and would doze on and off during the day - making us both extremely irritable and exhausted.
After several months of very little sleep I begged the Dr's for something to knock Mom out for even a litttle while. All of the sleeping pills they perscribed just made her agitated and hallucinating . . I figured it was better to be awake all night than to make Mom crazy.
Process of illimination led me to Melatonin at 6:00pm, a banana at 7:00 and she is ready for bed at 8:00 . . .Melatonin helps to keep her from getting to an agitated state and I read somewhere that banana's help with sleep along with making sure she has a full stomache before heading to bed. For today this is working for us and Mom is asleep usually by 10:00 and stays asleep until morning :) .
I hope you too can find a combination of things that will give both you and your Mom a peaceful night . . . until then hang in there and know that there are people who understand and care.
I would also talk to her doc, could be sundowning, and there are many medications that will help with that, and maybe you can get some sleep too.
The exhaustion will tear you down..you need sleep. I know exactly what you are feeling...was there only a year ago. So try and get someone to sit with her so you can rest.
Keep coming back here for advice..or if you need to just to vent. We all know what you are going through....and its so nice to know that you can relate to someone who has been there or is currently there. God Bless...and Good luck.
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