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...to fill our care needs . Is there any sort of government financial help for him that will allow him to continue helping us and take care of his family expenses ?

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Maryb, are you and your husband eligible for Medicaid? Most states have programs under the Medicaid umbrella to help keep seniors in the community as long as possible, and that may include paying a family member for some of the in-home care.

Or, if you have too many assets and/or too much income to qualify for Medicaid, can you pay him?

For a son or daughter to give up a job to care for their parents not only leaves them short of cash for their own immediate needs, but reduces the total work credits they will have when they need social security and to cash in their pensions, etc. By making their parents' old age easier they are risking the comfort of their own old age -- when they will probably live even longer than their parents did, and medical and other expenses will be even higher.

You son did not "have to" quit his job to care for you. You did not "have to" allow him to do that. Please recognize that this is a choice that you all made, and that there are consequences to those decisions. You are right to be concerned about his need for income.

I guess the first thing to know is, are you eligible for Medicaid?

What level of care do you need?
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This question is asked almost daily. If you have the resources to pay him, do it legally and write out a contract. That is the only way he is going to get paid. Up in the search function, put in Getting Paid. All of the answers will come up.

Good luck to you and him.
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Certainly, write up a care contract and pay him for 8 hours a day at $10 per hour. Make sure it is a written contract or Medicaid will say it is a gift.
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mary, is it too late for your son to get his job back? You and your husband can look into assisted living, so your needs can be met without your son having to sacrifice so much. I know that you are concerned about him.
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Mary, majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone who is home caring for their parents/grandparents/aunts/ uncles/spouse/sibling/child could get paid for the time they put in.... but that alone would bankrupt the States and the Federal government within months.

I really wish grown children would check first to see if they can be paid before quitting their job. On average if a working person quits work he/she will lose, over the years, between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary, it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance; loss of money being put into social security/ Medicare; loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k); profit sharing; etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12].

Mary, curious how old is your son? If he is close to being a senior himself [55+] then he will have his own age decline, plus adding another family to his list of things to do will age him very quickly.

See if you can qualify for Medicaid. There are some benefits such as someone coming to the house once in awhile to help for an hour or two. Some States have "Cash and Counseling" programs, so check into that. Some States might pay, but the grown child cannot live with the parents, etc. As you can see each State has their own rules and regulations. It doesn't hurt to see what is available.

I hope something will work out so it can be a win-win for you and your son.
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