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psabatinoh, I see on your profile that your dad has dementia. That sheds an entirely different light on his behavoir and your challenge. This is probably the person who handed you an allowance, and tried to teach you the value of money. And now he can't figure out that he needs most of his social security check for his own care. Dementia is sad, sad, sad, for the patient and for the whole family.
I don't know how long you have been caring for Dad, or what legal documents you have in place. Perhaps this problem with the irresponsible use of money is a reminder call to deal with the broad picture. Who will make medical decisions for your dad if he is not able to comprehend the consequences of his own decisions? Who can speak for him in financial matters? Does he/is he likely to need to apply for Medicaid? Do you have sisters and brothers? What starts out as an informal caregiving arrangement may need to be more formalized for the long haul.
For the immediate problem, it sounds like elpee and Carol have experience with this very issue, and have some helpful advice.
Bless you for caring for your father. Putting things on a formal basis can be daunting, especially if there other family members. But once you get everything set up, you can move forward on a solid foundation.
Go to the Social Security Administration and ask to be appointed his Representative Payee. It is a simple process that gives you the authority to makes sure his check is spent to benefit his health and well-being. I know --- I was the Representative Payee for my son about 10 years. He has had mental health issues that created a problem with him handling his money responsibly. Just recently he was deemed by his Dr to be capable of handling his own money and that's the only way someone with a Representative Payee can put an end to it.
My mom was spending ALL of her monthly SS check on lottery tickets. She wasn't paying her rent & getting eviction notices, got dropped from her Part D mess for non payment AND pays hundreds monthly in bounced check fees. She agreed to apply to Social Security for me to be her Representative Payee. Now her check is deposited into a bank account that only I control. I pay all her bills and keep her on budget. It's more work, but I don't have to worry about her financial well being.
My mom was spending ALL of her monthly SS check on lottery tickets. She wasn't paying her rent & getting eviction notices, got dropped from her Part D mess for non payment AND pays hundreds monthly in bounced check fees. She agreed to apply to Social Security for me to be her Representative Payee. Now her check is deposited into a bank account that only I control. I pay all her bills and keep her on budget. It's more work, but I don't have to worry about her financial well being.
I'm one of the oldies--live alone-cook my meals-pay my bills- I'm on ss and wow !! I play the lottery, what else can we do. Oh ya, I even forget at times what I opened the fridge for. Another thing-I drive and even go to the casino once in a while. Do I win ?? Heck no, but I'm not gonna quit because someone don't like how I spend my ss.Unless I'm asking someone for help-it's my business and my money.
Gosh that seems harsh, if all he is doing is playing the lottery. Unless there are other reasons to think that he may have something nurological going on. People play lottery in spells sometimes, they dream big,spend more than they should realize they arnt going to win,and go on to dream about other things. It may pass. And you may have a hard time convincing people he needs a poa because he buys lotto tickets. This is also a huge undertaking,its not easy taking cares of someones finaces along with your own. I would make sure it is really needed before I take on that responsibility. And if he is of sound mind, you may not want the animosity it might create in even trying. So I would think hard. Its hard enough on them when they start loosing there independence. Playing lottery might be his way of realiving stress. Just some things to think about:)((hugs))
I would first get Durable and Medical POA. Then I would have him evaluated by his doctor to see if he is competent to handle his affairs in a business like manner. Then, I have that doctor sign a letter stating that and why which he will need to get notarized. Last, I'd take the durable POA and the letter to the bank and then take charge of his finances.
You can do something either get POA on him and or have his account with a second person for any transactions, i had to do this with my Mother, then make the bank aware of this, they one time actually called me at my work to tell me she was trying to get money out. Hope and pray that this info will help, god bless you,
I suppose he can do whatever he wants with his money. My only concern is that he has enough to take care of himself and his needs. Is he covered for food, housing, long-term care, etc. Will spending these earnings make it such that he could create a financial burden on someone in your family? As long as he has these bases covered, let him have some fun.
you can try to have your father deemed incompentent to make his own fianancial decisions and go get guardianship through the court system. This will give you the legal standing for the bank and you can make it so that only you can get maoney out of his account. The bank needs something legal before they would let a family member just intervine. Hope this helps
I agree with you nheaton, my grma used to play the lottery a lot. Nobody ever tried to stop her, she was handeling her own money, it was one of the few pleasures she still had. It may not be what you would do with your s.s. check but its not at all uncommon for them to do it. As a matter of fact It was kinda funny on check day to see all the old women in the store eal early in the a.m. getting their scratchers tickets, theyed scratch them off right in the store sometimes so they could turn in there small winnings for more tickets lol:) its probably nothing to worry about.
Unless this is new behavior for your father indicating some sort of mental issue, then he's just one of the millions of people who spend money they don't have in order to win money they didn't earn. How do you stop someone who's younger from doing the same thing? You can't. Sorry.
You might want to have a discussion with the Adult Protective services of dept. of social services. They may be able to intervene with the bank to assure his needs are covered first. Just a guess, I don't really know.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't know how long you have been caring for Dad, or what legal documents you have in place. Perhaps this problem with the irresponsible use of money is a reminder call to deal with the broad picture. Who will make medical decisions for your dad if he is not able to comprehend the consequences of his own decisions? Who can speak for him in financial matters? Does he/is he likely to need to apply for Medicaid? Do you have sisters and brothers? What starts out as an informal caregiving arrangement may need to be more formalized for the long haul.
For the immediate problem, it sounds like elpee and Carol have experience with this very issue, and have some helpful advice.
Bless you for caring for your father. Putting things on a formal basis can be daunting, especially if there other family members. But once you get everything set up, you can move forward on a solid foundation.
Bev
As long as he has these bases covered, let him have some fun.