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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Rather than get our lay opinions, please get your spouse evaluated by a competent medical doctor. Since your spouse has some memory issues, ask for a referral to a neurologist for evaluation and treatment. In early stages of most types of dementia, medication is helpful to maintain the person at home for many years. The doctor can give you a list of signs/symptoms to guide your decisions over the course of this disease process.
This doesn't address a spouse handling 'most/all' of the needs however the website provides some valuable information ... especially the last bullet point.
In part, it says:
8 Signs It’s Time for Memory Care
There are no specific rules for when someone needs full-time care. A doctor can do tests to determine if their cognitive impairment has gotten worse.
If you or your loved one is already in assisted living or a nursing home, staff there may notice signs that they need a higher level of care. And certain changes in their behavior, appearance, and environment can provide clues:
[You are doing this] --- They’re not paying their bills. While anyone can forget a payment once in a while, it’s cause for concern if you start getting confused calls wondering why the cable or phone was turned off.
[You are doing all this?] --- They neglect personal hygiene and housekeeping. They may have forgotten how to do household chores or have trouble bathing and dressing themselves.
They become unsafe in their current home. They may leave the stove on, trip and fall, or wander off.
They no longer take good care of their health. They may forget their medication or take too much of it. They don’t make doctor’s appointments. They skip meals.
They lose track of the passage of time.
In early dementia, they might forget the date and then remember it later. But forgetting the year or season is cause for concern.
They withdraw from hobbies and social situations. Research has shown that social isolation worsens dementia symptoms. Most memory centers offer activities and emphasize socialization.
You worry about your own safety. Some advanced forms of dementia can lead to aggressive and abusive behaviors.
Caregiving has taken a mental and physical toll on you. You’re stressed and exhausted and neglecting your own needs.
I agree with everyone. When I finally decided 3 months ago now to put my husband in Memory Care after 12 yrs of taking care of him it was because of safety for him and honestly a little for me. It was gut wrenching the first two months but I am inch by inch better. Please consider the safety issue.
I encourage you to speak honestly and frequently with his PCP about any changes in behaviors, mental status or physical status that you observe. Safety for him and you are the priority. Safety issues and changes in behaviors can arise in the blink of an eye and are not always gradual. Do not hesitate to call 911 for help and transport of him to ER for assessment if at any time you deem the situation unable to handle or unsafe for either of you. I am including ' you' in this because ' you' are coping but may not like so many primary caregivers recognize or want to ask for help via 911 or other services and, you could become at some point verbally or even at risk for unintentional physical, emotional abuse by a dementia patient. So this is a longer more circuitous answer to your question but, I hope you will use it to help you decide when placement in " memory care" may be advised for safety reasons . Always confer with PCP or Geriatric specialist or a specialist assigned to him, but do not hesitate to make your voice and needs heard. and, you may want to go ahead and start learning more about long term memory care units available for your beloved. A skilled capable licensed social worker or case manager may help navigate options. You can also confer with an Elder Law attorney for help navigating complex systems caring for the aging and ill. Be sure that you have all necessary POA etc papers in order for decision making authority.
I probably should have placed my husband in MC sooner than I did, but my children encouraged me to do it when he could no longer be safely left alone for even a few minutes. He fell down the stairs when I was in the shower. He would leave the house if I didn't keep the alarm on and one time wandered off in the woods. Start looking for a place now. At this point, you'll start seeing new challenges every day.
Safety was my proverbial "line in the sand" I said if it was no longer safe for ME to care for my Husband at home I would have to place him. Or if it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him I would have to place him. Thankfully with the help of the VA and "my"/our Hospice Team it never came to that. I go tall the supplies, equipment and support that I needed. The important thing though my Husband was not aggressive, he was compliant and that made all the difference!
Yes, compliance makes all the difference. My mother won’t even acknowledge she has Alzheimer’s despite, Drs, testing and MRI brain scans. My parents live together but my father is 94 with his own health problems and troubled mobility. He isn’t really her caregiver. More like a full time babysitter with an eye on her. Unfortunately, I can see his own cognitive decline and now he’s jumping on her bandwagon because she’s always controlled the relationship and he’s believing what she says, and what she wants to do.
Hi, welcome . Are you asking because you are having difficulty caring for your spouse at home ? Sounds as if your spouse should not be left home alone . How do you get groceries etc ? Do you have any help coming to the home ? Have you asked the doctor if your spouse needs memory care ? Some more information would be helpful . Does your spouse need help with showers, dressing ? Incontinence? Wandering ?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://www.webmd.com/alzheimers/signs-time-memory-care
This doesn't address a spouse handling 'most/all' of the needs however the website provides some valuable information ... especially the last bullet point.
In part, it says:
8 Signs It’s Time for Memory Care
There are no specific rules for when someone needs full-time care. A doctor can do tests to determine if their cognitive impairment has gotten worse.
If you or your loved one is already in assisted living or a nursing home, staff there may notice signs that they need a higher level of care. And certain changes in their behavior, appearance, and environment can provide clues:
[You are doing this] --- They’re not paying their bills. While anyone can forget a payment once in a while, it’s cause for concern if you start getting confused calls wondering why the cable or phone was turned off.
[You are doing all this?] --- They neglect personal hygiene and housekeeping. They may have forgotten how to do household chores or have trouble bathing and dressing themselves.
They become unsafe in their current home. They may leave the stove on, trip and fall, or wander off.
They no longer take good care of their health. They may forget their medication or take too much of it. They don’t make doctor’s appointments. They skip meals.
They lose track of the passage of time.
In early dementia, they might forget the date and then remember it later. But forgetting the year or season is cause for concern.
They withdraw from hobbies and social situations. Research has shown that social isolation worsens dementia symptoms. Most memory centers offer activities and emphasize socialization.
You worry about your own safety. Some advanced forms of dementia can lead to aggressive and abusive behaviors.
Caregiving has taken a mental and physical toll on you.
You’re stressed and exhausted and neglecting your own needs.
Gena / Touch Matters
So this is a longer more circuitous answer to your question but, I hope you will use it to help you decide when placement in " memory care" may be advised for safety reasons . Always confer with PCP or Geriatric specialist or a specialist assigned to him, but do not hesitate to make your voice and needs heard. and, you may want to go ahead and start learning more about long term memory care units available for your beloved.
A skilled capable licensed social worker or case manager may help navigate options. You can also confer with an Elder Law attorney for help navigating complex systems caring for the aging and ill.
Be sure that you have all necessary POA etc papers in order for decision making authority.
Practice good self care !
Blessings and peace ....
I said if it was no longer safe for ME to care for my Husband at home I would have to place him. Or if it was no longer safe for HIM for me to care for him I would have to place him.
Thankfully with the help of the VA and "my"/our Hospice Team it never came to that. I go tall the supplies, equipment and support that I needed.
The important thing though my Husband was not aggressive, he was compliant and that made all the difference!
Here is an article from the Care Topics on Memory Care.
It might be helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/when-is-it-time-to-place-a-loved-one-with-dementia-188309.htm
Some more information would be helpful . Does your spouse need help with showers, dressing ? Incontinence? Wandering ?