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My dad has dementia and his memory is very poor, when he thinks he remembers stuff, but then make thing up, which he maybe partially right. It worries me because these thing are usually financially related and I'm afraid he will make a big mistake or spend money where he shouldn't, call someone he shouldn't and piss them off with wild things he has in his mind that to him are true or real. I catch him saying thing that aren't true but avoid pointing them out because it ends in a argument. Even if I'm 100% right his mined is set on what he thinks. Even if I'm prove it, he will forget and it will just start over again another time. Money is the biggest thing on his mind, he is very concentrated on it. And for me (his son) he doesn't full trust me with financials I think. Even though when he was sick and dying I did them all for months till he recovered. He insist on doing thing himself and it kills me to see him struggle or screw it all up. This is just getting harder and harder as time goes on, seeing th mind slowly die is very difficult to deal with. I thought I could wait till a big mistake was made and I would have to step in, but I'm fearing that more and more. And if I can't convince him of the little things I have no chance at the big ones.

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Slowly start taking the bills over. One little bill one month, have him sign the check. This is what I had to do with my mom. The problem with my mom was/is...she thinks we as her children...are not old enough to handle responsibilities because we are her "children". I also took all the junk mail everyday and threw it away ASAP or she would obsess over it, didn't know what to do with it and didn't think I knew what I was talking about regarding it being junk mail.
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Does your father live with you or does he live alone? If he lives alone, is he able to do the ADLs ,activities of daily living, like feed himself, can he drive, can he bath himself, can he dress himself, can he clean his house.? Check his refrigerator and see what food he keeps, is it healthy, out of date , rotting? Do you have POA? Do you have siblings that can help? You might have to call in APS if you find that he is unable to do these ADL"s which might give you a chance to get POA and also see about becoming his guardian. Sounds like he has just enough mental function to hurt himself and not just financially. Don't wait for a big mistake of any kind to happen. Be proactive. Call any elder services in your area, they can be a great source of info, also this website. There are many here in your same situation. Good Luck.
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I moved in with my dad after he ended up in the hospital from CHF. They wanted to put him in a home, I knew he didn't want that. Quit my job at the suggestion of a coworker who lost both his parents, so I can care for him. He doesn't drive, can't take meds correctly or eat decent. I do have a POA and have applied it for a few things were he failed to take care of, Perscipt insurance, Cable bill, credit card, etc. I just haven't stepped into his retirement investment and his investment account.
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SeaCoast, double check the property taxes and water bills. We found that mom would hide them or shove them into the bottom of the paid bills stack because she did not like them. She also hid bills for medical co-pays and ambulance rides because "they were too high". Seniors have had their houses sold at a county tax auction, right out from under them, because they are stubborn.
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My grandfather doesn't have dementia, but is blind. So we have been doing the bills all this time with reading everything off to him. I agree with the others just to start doing them. Slowly if possible. Another account he hasn't kept the best track ( multiple people making checks he signs them) but I told him Im taking over the tracking /writing ..period ...or your going to have a problem. So far so good, but again, your situation is a little different. I wish you and your father the best. Hopefully everything isnt to bad financially.
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After 30 years in senior industry, I have counseled hundreds of adult children and their parents on this issue and have published an amazon ebook "Bold Actions for Helping Older Parents. I have also been caregiver for 3 family members. Please read it and let me know if it has helped. Good Luck
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