MY 86 mom has memory problems. She often sleeps 8 to 10 hrs, gets up to go to the bathroom and somehow her pj bottoms and carpet at the front of the toilet gets wet. She doesn't know how it happens. I'm 700 miles away. She wears a pullup diaper w. pad (I think the pad is unnecessary but she's afraid of wetting the mattress (just ordered them a waterproof mattress pad). I think she sleeps so long, has a strong urgency and when she gets to the toilet, she starts to pee before she sits down OR when she sits down she doesn't slide her bum back far enough. Ideas as to whether either makes sense? Naturally, need suggestions. It's hard for me to monitor both parents but I do talk to them every morning.
Thanks, Linda...
We've just had a death in my husband's family & we are going there this week. I had hoped to see my parents soon but this unexpected trip makes that unaffordable now. My brother will be going up the week before Christmas & I will tell him what to look for to indicate that they are not safe. If they aren't, well, that's another thing ::sigh:: Dad is just so darn proud or stupid, maybe a little of both. Thanks for your response. Linda...
I do believe that she is starting to pee before she sits down. I recommended a night gown but she said she couldn't stand the gown, something about it sticking to her legs ::sigh:: She's also wearing both a diaper and pad so that's more to get down when she has to pee. She's afraid if she doesn't wear the pad, she'll wet the bed. I just sent them a waterproof mattress pad but Dad hasn't put it on because he hasn't washed the sheets yet (don't ask me why he has to do that before putting on the pad).
I agree that she is probably doing as you suggest, ie, starting to pee as she goes to sit down & pull her diaper/pad & pajamas down. I asked her whether she pulls down her bottoms when she's facing the toilet or when she goes to sit down and of course she couldn't remember.
Part of the problem is that she becomes quite beligerant & won't listen to what dad tells her. I saw that part of my mother last year when she fell & ended up in a nursing home. My sweet mom can become a real bi...
Thanks for your input, I really don't know what we can do. Even if I were there and saw what she was doing, I'm not sure what I could do to change it.
Thanks, Linda..
As for the slipper socks, great idea, until they start rolling around on their feet during their sleep and the rubber knobbys are on the top of their foot and they still slip. THe hospitals have rubber ALL around and they are the best invention ever. I cannot find them online so if someone can please respond. I have 2 pairs and treat them like gold as she has to have them on every night, her floor is laminate and slippery. The pads in the diapers to me are like only wearing a pad, it prevents the real diaper from doing its job. I would suggest just a diaper, rubber pants over it if you need but I used depends and put on a XL pullup from discount warehouses over it just in case the diaper overflows . The bulk of the urine needs a real diaper, not a pad in my experience, but whatever works for all. This site is great, love to read everyones input, Hugs to all of you caretakers out there!
the relationship between my mother & father now is that when she gets upset or angry, he backs down which is quite a change from the past. I have been telling him to check Mom before she goes to bed, etc, and he says "he doesn't listen to me". If he took her pjs and just left a nightgown, she'd go balistic on him. That would be a great idea, though.
She uses slipper socks. There is a small contour rug in front of the toilet (otherwise the rug beneath would be ruined; Dad's already worried that the toilet is going to go through the floor (he thinks the boards around the toilet are rotted & they might be).
They haven't put the new mattress pad on yet but supposedly she's never wet in the bed, not even in her diapers but I don't believe that.
I appreciate your support. My parents should be with us OR have someone come in to help them. My father refuses both. I've been told that I need to accept this situation and pray that it works out better than worse.
My dad's mindset is from when he was a kid, the 9 kids and the parents slept in a small house on a farm. When his mother got sick, he'd hear her moan and moan for quite some time but the family took care of the mother. They also took care of his grandparents, too. His attitude is 'I take care of my own.' I try to tell him that time has changed but he doesn't hear me.
Thanks again, Linda...
I don't know what else I can do! Even if I found that she was simply not sitting back far enough or started to pee before she sat down, what's the solution then? To have Dad get up with her I suppose. He won't have anyone stay overnight or be in the house in general.
::sigh:: Thanks for all of you, this is tough. Linda...
Oh my, she tore up the soiled diaper!
It's tough, isn't it. Linda...
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