I have been doing all the physical bending, lifting, toileting, bathing for my Dad going in 3 years 3 times per day. My husband helps me out on wed. & Fri. And takes him all day on Sat. so I can get my mother out. Mom finally agreed to have someone come in two nights per week. She doesn't seem all that happy about it now that it is becoming a reality. I am realized but also guilty. I saw my Dr. And she put me on meds for depression which is between my husband and I only.
One of things we like to teach our pediatric rehab patients who are always going to need some physical help is how to interact with other people besides their parents and learn to *direct* their own care. It is not a far stetch to have your parents learn to accept care from others besides you...sure you can supervise and help direct some, but this is an important skill in its own right. It may be outside their comfort zone at first but it can work out for the best in the long run for all concerned.
Once she gets used to the idea and dad accepts it she will be fine. Have you considered requesting a male aide