I am a very isolated, quiet, young (late 20s) caregiver to my mom and once again I scared off another friend today. I usually don't let people in to my life, but I stupidly told a friend what was going on today and got that glazed over "how do I escape?" look. I have been supportive to this friend so I don't think I was asking for too much. This is the third friend I have scared away. What can I do to stop scaring friends away?
Sometimes a small gesture of kindness is all that is needed....I have a neighbor that pops up at my door with a plate of cookies once in a great while...and her thoughtfulness is so deeply appreciated, another friend from out of town sends cheery cards to my Mom and I. These tiny gestures become huge acts of kindness to me. We just have to weed out the immature people that cannot handle things and seek out more compassionate people....they are precious few but they are out there.
Any chance of your Mom hiring a caregiver to come in to help out? That way you can go find employment so you can build your own future. You can still care for your Mom but from arms length, dealing with logistics instead.
If your Mom is on limited income, what about her moving to a continuing care facility for a while... see if she can qualify for Medicaid which will help her pay for her care.
I know what you mean about scaring away friends... I lost a few because they just couldn't relate to elder care, but I gained a new friend who is dealing with aging in-laws.
Because of your age and the stress you've got to be feeling, it would be very wise for you to have a regular counselor, so that you can have that outlet to help cope with your situation. I've cut back on seeing/communicating with two friends because when I see them, I feel like the life is being drained out of me. I always have to listen to their work issues and I'm sick of it. I don't get to share my needs with them, because all of the space is taken up with their problems. Again, I'm not saying you're doing that, but make sure you're not taking up all of the space in the friendship with your problems. That's what a counselor can help you handle. Hugs to you - you're very young to be facing this issue!