My sister has been taking "cash" money from my Mother for 30 years. Until 3 years ago it was about $500 per month. Over the last 3 years she has convinced my Mother to give her all of her savings which was around $80,000 to $100,000. Now my Mother is out of money and she recently convinced my Mother to go to 3 separate institutions to borrow more money (about $20,000). She gave the money to my sister in CASH because she is on disability and it would show as income which would cause her to lose her SSDI. Now that my Mother is out of money and cannot repay her debt, my sister is now accusing me of abusing my Mother because I told my Mother her judgment was impaired. My sister is threatening to sue me because I have financial power of attorney from my Mother and demanding all sorts of things. H E L P !
What form are your sister's accusations taking?
How long have you been aware of your sister's behaviour?
How long have you had financial POA?
To be honest, I think you yourself might be in big trouble. I think you'd better get good legal advice from an elder specialist, pronto pronto. You need to get sorted:
what has happened to your mother's capital
what has gone on with her obtaining credit
what is to be done about her inability to meet her debt
what explanation are you going to put forward for your failure to intervene sooner.
What are your mother's care needs? Is she living with you, living with your sister, or living alone?
Please come back to us with more details. I don't want to alarm you and then do nothing to offer suggestions.
Next sit down with mom (if she isn't totally incompetent) and explain the amount of money and loans. Write it up simply and explain to mom "she is broke trying to help sister) and who will take care of mom when she is penniless? This may be a wake up call for her when she sees it in black and white.
Mom is responsible for her debt, not you and not your sister -- you will be the loser because sis has already gotten the majority of the estate.
Talk with mom and offer her help in stopping the $$ bleed and stopping future gifts and lending to sister. Take mom to bank, get on the accounts secured in your name. Give mom a small account to draw from and when it's empty it's empty. Call the loan companies and tell them mom is elder and has memory issues and they are to not allow any future lending to mom -- they won't if you tell a white lie and tell them she won't be able to repay the loan.
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