She is regressing. Transfers are hard. Eating is her favorite thing. Wants junk constantly and gets mean when refused. DIABETIC. Will not exercise at home unless I argue through the entire process. Entire day is centered on avoiding exercise and getting as much snack and food as desired. I am exhausted and need a new light. I love this lady and want to do the right thing, but don't know how to accomplish it. Helppppp
Sounds like there is depression involved. Seek help from PCP and perhaps get counseling lined up. Visiting Nurse services should be available and they can even do blood sugar checks...
Do not stay solo on this...you and she need more help!
Limit the number of transfers, tell her it is too exhausting for you. And anytime she needs something, she needs to learn to help herself.
Learn to start saying to her "Sorry, I can't possibly do that". If she gets upset, walk out of the room. I know it won't be easy, but think of it as being in her best interest.
I suppose you could try insisting that she gets her own snacks and put reasonable compromise versions somewhere she can realistically get to with a reasonable amount of effort.
And...yeah, it sucks big time to watch someone you care about destroy what is left of their health by not moving and not eating right. No two ways about it. If she is starting to get diabetic encephalopathy and/or vascular dementia, her ability to reason and postpone gratification - i.e. do something hard or uncomfortable to achieve a goal she may care about, even one she may care about very much, like living in her own home instead of a facility - may be next to nil.
It's not a matter of turning into a tyrant and saying your way or the highway. She can have her way if she likes, it's just you're not going to join in. I hope you weren't expecting thanks???
Peace!