My siblings and I are struggling after taking my father's car away from him. While he's been cleared after cardiac surgery, it's his cognition that's an issue. He's furious and is calling government offices and the police. He's agreed to retake the drivers test but it's a process in PA that takes time. My mom, diagnosed with Alzheimer's, lives there and has told us he'll let her drive. He's becoming impossible to deal with and at 81 years old he could live for years of more fighting and sulking. We've tried all the ideas I've seen here but I'm at my wit's end and feel terribly guilty.
Are there good options for alternate transportation?
Getting old is hard, I agree, and losing the ability to jump and go on a whim must be excruciating.
What kind of cardiac surgery did he have? The end result of the anesthesia is often the uncovering of or speeding up of pre-existing cognitive decline. Based on the fact that he says he'd let mom drive, I would think that perhaps vascular dementia has set in?
Is the car on the premises? Can it be Disabled?
Is he on meds for depression, anxity and agitation?
When you say it's your father's cognition that's the issue, is that official? Has his mental capacity been assessed and found wanting?
Because if not - while I sympathise hugely (and privately approve the result that he's not on the road, which may be rough on him but is at the very least harmless to the general public) - if he has capacity, his doctor has cleared him to drive, and you children have just pinched his car...
Well I'm not surprised he's livid. That's his property you've taken.
You're just going to have to brazen it out, at least until the retest. And possibly long after that, I'm afraid :/ Cultivate a spirit of cheeky defiance, you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.
We have all of his transportation needs covered with friends, family and gogo grandparents. It's the independence of getting up and going whenever he wants- which he's done his whole life. I'm sympathetic and repeat that constantly. Unfortunately his behavior means a fight whenever one of us visits, he's even making lists of our past driving mistakes to review daily!