Dad has been very forgetful - unsure of time of day, gets lost driving, etc.
At neurologist memory tests showed a decrease in memory etc since last visit six months ago. Wanted to know if anyone had success getting keys/car away from parent without forcibly taking them.......?? He thinks there is nothing wrong with driving...we are worried will get in accident and hurt himself, others, or both.
I completed my mother's portion of the paperwork because she's no longer able to, and gave the other forms for the doctor to complete and turn in.
I feel good about having followed through to this point, but what awaits me is really keeping me up at night, giving me stomach aches, etc. My mother is in complete denial about her increasing limitations, and is also narcissistic. She will NOT accept this, and I dread having to be involved. I'm going to have to take more time off of work to handle her b.s., as well as taking the car away. I'll have to involve my husband which I don't like to do, because we'll need to come down in my car, and he'll have to drive hers away. God, she will be a nightmare. She is not a nice person, to put it mildly.
I'll also need to put companion/home assistance services into place for her -- which I'm actually glad about. She's refused all assistance, but if she has no car, then she'll need someone to come by several times a week. She is NOT doing well-seems to forget and/or not comprehend ANYthing. And her default attitude is contempt, bitterness and/or envy for anyone she thinks has whatever it is she thinks she wants. When I'm around her I always feel somehow pressured to feel guilty for being in good health, still able to drive, etc. It's awful.
I should allot at least one day off after it's all done, just to stay in bed with the covers over my head...
If your state law is not terribly helpful, do something to disable the car.
Of course family members have contacted the DMV when the doctor fails to. Of course we inform the insurance companies. It is absolutely critical that a person with dementia not be allowed to put the lives of others in danger.
Getting lost is the least of the problems with demented driving. There is slowed response time. There is momentary loss of memory (which pedal is the brake?) There is diminished judgment. Allowing someone with these impairments to drive is irresponsible. Yes, Dad will be angry and depressed. But you have to do what you have to do. I am so sorry.
Now when I take my parents places though it is on MY schedule...
Why I asked is that my Dad is also 92 and he stopped driving 5 years ago because of failing eyesight. So that means I have been driving him and Mom everywhere [I'm an only child] and that has me burnt out. I even lost a great full-time job because of all the time I was taking off for all the places my parents needed to be driven. Don't want you to be in that loop unless you have other relatives who can help.