My mom is fairly young, she's 70 and I think she may be in the beginning stages of dementia. There is a history of it in her family. Two years ago she fell down her back stairs and hit her head. She was taken to the hospital and tests were conducted and it was determined that she was fine. Within the past year and half, she has become increasingly paranoid, forgetful and argumentative. She often doesn't make sense when she speaks. She is still seeing the neurologist that she was connected with after her fall. She has made mention of the doctor running more tests and when I ask why, she tells me that he is trying to rack up her bill, clearly that's not the reason. I've tried contacting her doctor and I know he can't tell me anything, but I at least want to express my concern for her health and well being to him. She lives alone and I worry about her and don't know what to do or where to start. I'veI've tried talking to her and she's not willing to cooperate with me, she wants to argue with me. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
That really is the best first step ... have her examined and tested by an expert.
Either way, the doctor clearly sees problems and would likely welcome your input. What he or she can do about it without help from the family is hard to tell. Try this step anyway and see what happens.
I agree that the head injury could have contributed to this - maybe sped up the development that had already begun.
Good luck,
Carol
Yes, the fall may have caused damage. But her brain might have a fighting chance to recover with proper nutrition.
You indicate that your mom is not only forgetting things, but often what she says doesn't make sense. And that she had a head injury two years ago. What made her fall? It's good she's been having regular tests with a neurologist. Her symptoms could be related, but they might not be. Maybe, she's had a stroke or has some other kind of condition. Perhaps her doctor has information about that, but he can't provide it to you.
Of course, you can give information to him. I've done that. I hand delivered a letter to my cousin's doctor in person. I detailed what I was seeing with my loved one, so when she examined my loved one, she had much more information. The doctor conducted the mental exam and then saw how severely effected my loved one was and she was able to diagnose dementia.
Since your mom is not cooperating, she may refuse to sign a Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care POA. Do you think she would, if you could explain to her that you want to look into all the tests she is having and see if they truly are necessary. Explain you need POA to do it. The approach that you don't think anything is wrong, might get you more leverage with her than her thinking you are anxious to get more tests. Your input to the doctor can be kept confidential.
Another suggestion BEFORE you write to her doctor is to spend a couple of days with her in her home. Take note of how she is able to function. I would also see if you can watch her write something. I found that my loved one had written some checks that looked very odd and had didn't even look like English.
I'd try to determine if she Is she actually cooking, doing laundry, bathing, paying bills, taking meds, dressing herself appropriately, steady on her feet, etc. I might even go for a walk and chat with the neighbors. They often have had encounters with people who have dementia in their neighborhood and have stories to tell. My loved one would go to her neighbors and tell them she needed food and cat food. The truth was that she had plenty of food and cat food, but she was imaging that she didn't. I would also talk to her friends, church family, hair dresser, etc. I'd try to see the changes that all of them have noticed. That would also help when you send the letter to her doctor.
The last fall spiraled Mom's memory into late stage dementia. Doctors tried rehab but that didn't work, thus Mom was placed in long-term-care, and 3 months later she passed.
Head trauma can be serious stuff, and one needs the right kind of doctors to map this all out. Melanie, if your Mom is starting with dementia, I believe there are meds that will help slow down the process, but I am not familiar with the meds.
Hope everything works out for the both of you.
Also, think safety, e.g. safe driving skills, potential kichen fires, etc.
Also, think financial fraud. Trust me, once the diagnosis is known, she will be the subject of daily telephone solicitation and sales calls. Email is ridiculous as to how many foreign lotteries she will win, ex.
Then she took a fall that required stitches, and I used that as the reason to see a neurologist (I needed forms filled out for LTC insurance to approve home health care assistance claims - and her GP would not fill them out).
I was going to just tell her that it was recommended for all people of her age to get memory tests done, even just as a baseline. But the fall gave me a better reason to get it done.
Needless to say, she scored 24 out of 30 in the MMSE, which is not bad, but her short term memory is shot, and she has trouble with simple tasks like paying bills or balancing her accounts.
I do agree with the other posters here, that getting those POA forms (and others like a will, and pre-need guardianship as well as a living will/advanced directives) is extremely important before the impairment goes to far.
Good luck.
Alzheimer's sucks, and then you die!