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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
At this time last year I was taking care of FIL (oxygen and wheelchair and incontinent) and MIL (Alzheimers and incontinent). I sincerely wanted one or both of them to die. In early November, he died ............and I was so relieved. Caretaking is grueling, boring, frustrating etc. I don't regret my choice to be caretaker.......but at the same time I don't kick myself for wishing an end to the madness. I still care for MIL (one is easier than two)...........but I can't help but hope her journey doesn't take much longer (for her sake and mine). That's just normal thinking.
You're right, you're not a bad person. What you're feeling is normal.
At the end of my dad's life he was so sick, he had hepatic encephalopathy related to end stage liver disease. He was in a NH. He was out of his mind. He was pitiful and tormented. I've never experienced so much stress in my entire life and I wanted it to end. For him and for us. I kept wondering how much longer he could go on like that and while I couldn't bring myself to pray every night, "God, please just take him" I would pray, "God, please make it stop."
Please don't beat yourself up. Most of us have thought the same thing.
When the going gets tough... the tough get going..... then we drop out of exhaustion. We all reach our limit. When one feels like this it is time for respite. We too wish it was over with. Not because we want a loved one to die, but because the quality of her life is very, very poor. I am sure our lives are now shortened by the stress of caregiving. No, do not feel guilty you have done nothing wrong.
thank you everybody. i sat next to my FIL this morning and cried a long cry and he talked to the kittens he sees on the ceiling fan. i think im going to be ok. thanks again
Perhaps the feelings that death would be a better alternative than the present life is a thought that will often go through every stressed out care givers' mind. I can only say that its a thought that should not be dwelled upon for too long and focus on making like a little better for all. Focus upon simple comfort tasks. Easier said that done but you must avoid these death thoughts as your place isn't to decide this and these thoughts can easily run away with them selves.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Caretaking is grueling, boring, frustrating etc.
I don't regret my choice to be caretaker.......but at the same time I don't kick myself for wishing an end to the madness.
I still care for MIL (one is easier than two)...........but I can't help but hope her journey doesn't take much longer (for her sake and mine).
That's just normal thinking.
At the end of my dad's life he was so sick, he had hepatic encephalopathy related to end stage liver disease. He was in a NH. He was out of his mind. He was pitiful and tormented. I've never experienced so much stress in my entire life and I wanted it to end. For him and for us. I kept wondering how much longer he could go on like that and while I couldn't bring myself to pray every night, "God, please just take him" I would pray, "God, please make it stop."
Please don't beat yourself up. Most of us have thought the same thing.
Do you have anyone to help so you can have some ME time?