My father had a stroke and needs full assistance with everything except feeding himself...he is 84 years old and wheelchair bound. My mother uses a walker and wheelchair. She has gout, congestive heart failure, diabetes, needs soundcard 2x a week. She needs asap 2 hip replacements asap well as two knee replacements but will not get the surgeries due to all her other medical problems. She cannot groundout very, very slow.
Today we have caregivers who are in their 60's and 70's, caring for their parents who are in their 80's and 90's. Again, mainly women but who are out in the paid workforce, thus are working two full time jobs [career and caregiving]. And without neighborhood women friends to help them out as those women are also out in the paid workforce. The energy and health level of a 30-40 year old is quite different from that of a 60-70 year old. It's cut in half.
Therefore, either think about bringing in at least two Caregivers per day to help you out, or better yet look around for a nice continuing care facility for your parents to live.
I am going on 3 years of dealing with a disrespectful , cantankerous, spiteful, manipulative , dominating and stubborn behaviors and would not quit for because I have dealt with these bullies in the work world.. I have been called to serve them. I know that this is a last go round so to speak and I have fought many battles with insecurity, doubts and fears, battle self destructing behaviors (overeating or too much sugar). I know my parents are going through their own form of disappointment and grief and I feel that this has been a stronghold they use over me by trying to "shame" or make me responsible for their own inability to see their part in the dysfunctional behaviors of insanity.... eg: doing the same things over and expecting different results.... I recognize so much of the patterns from when I was living here as a young adult... Their own insecurity may see this role I have as one of their cohorts called it, PAYBACK.... which puts a negative spin on it... yet that is the hardest part of the caregiving role.... the idea that anyone OWES their parent the supreme sacrifice of giving up their life to take care of them.... Well here I am trying to run the race... with God's grace and without the grace to be patient with my father because he relishes in being oppositional and defient..... Some days we blend , most days there is the oppositional defient disorder ... out of spite or habit .... but as long as God is for me... I tell myself let them be whatever way they want.... I trust Gods love to be unconditional unlike human love...
I will be here to listen more to your feedback anytime.... God Bless you in your efforts to serve your loved ones... This too shall pass one day and if only by the grace of God, take one day (moment )at a time.