Should we take my mother who has alzheimer's/dementia to a party with a few of our neighbors? She does not drink, and is very sweet but of course, no short term memory. She may start "preaching" about the wine drinking. She is here visiting with us for a few weeks.
Some people with Alzheimer's do OK for a brief time in mixed company. Some don't. Often the stimulation is too much for them and they can only put on their "public" face for so long before it begins to crack.
Knowing this, try it. Your mom may have a great time and it may be really good for her. But have an exit strategy if she starts to become agitated.
Then be prepared when you return home, since she is visiting you, for this to continue until she is distracted by something else.
Some people with dementia enjoy going out. Others are very anxious and don't enjoy it. Some of what you do will have to be based on how she is doing that day, as well. If she's like most people with dementia, she'll have some days where she's more clear than others. Days where her anxiety is worse. Go with your gut, but have a back up plan (or exit plan as Everishlass so wisely suggests). I hope you all can have some fun.
Carol
Carol
MY stepson's MIL had Alzheimer's and they used to sit me next to her because she liked me and we'd talk away for hours although on different subjects. But, she enjoyed it. Give her a treat and don't worry about your friends' reactions. They will probably be very kind and generous with her. I assume that your friends are kind people. Life without risk is no life at all, and life with Alzheimer's is even worse if you are hidden away at all times and have no opportunity to interact with others. If necessary, take a small amount of Diazepam before you take her. :)
Don't be surprised if your "friends" reject her. Most people are uncomfortable around the elderly and they don't care for their own parents so they will not be much interested in speaking with your mother.
If the gathering is important to you, I would see if you can pay a home health aide to be with her while you and your husband socialize. If you have a friend in the group who your mother relates to perhaps you can trade off time at the gathering and he/she could stay in your home with your mom.
Remember most middle aged friends will not welcome a person with a disability who is old. Life, their life, is all about them. If they volunteer for a charity it has to be something they are comfortable doing. Elder care is seldom that type of activity.
I had 1 maybe 2 friends who accepted my elderly parent and me at a social gathering. I had lots more "friends" before becoming the sole caregiver for my dad--I would make the same choice again but it is an eye opening experience. If you ever become the sole or primary caregiver, watch your friends drop off, they will call on the phone but that's about it.
Good luck.
the one who said it was nice of the neighbores to ask. Sometimes they may ask, yet be doing so just to be nice, hoping not to upset you. If you get little time to socialize I would say, do not take her, and enjoy yourself, you may be so busy wathing her,listening and frustrated you may not enjoy yourself at all. The time will pass soon that she will not even remember, but, you will. I have gone through this too many times, and by the time I get home I am upset, and as well others could see my frustration, leaving them with not such a great time either.
Good Luck, there are so many issues to deal with.