I need an opinion from the gang here. My father's best friend died yesterday. He was 93. Dad is 94, in NH, moderate dementia, often says horrible things to people. At other times he can be quite charming to others. It depends on what day it is....and you can never predict it.
I know I should take him to the funeral next week, but I am torn. Out of respect for the family, I do not want him to make a scene. I feel disloyal by feeling this is a dilemma.....looking for your advice here!
If he becomes distraught, at least it's occurring in the privacy of the viewing session rather than in the open funeral proceedings.
I would also brief the family before going so that they're aware of any potential negativity.
I'd also be prepared to spend some time with your father afterward in case he does realize his best friend is gone and become temporarily distraught.
If you think your father's up to it, you could also let him express his feelings toward his best friend in a card to give to the family to put in the casket. That way he could offer his condolences, but do it in private as he writes the card, then minimize the time he actually spends in the funeral home.
Funeral proceedings are generally so depressing and so maudlin; I think I'd tend to avoid that and just stick with the viewings; they're are least not so procedurally governed.