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My husband ensures my 84 year old MIL, who has the beginning stages of dementia and Parkinson’s, takes her medications at the same time every day. We just discovered that she has been taking AZO and UTI antibiotics (which are expired) without telling us or her doctor. She had been experiencing chills, diarrhea and unusual tiredness over the weekend and we were trying to figure out why. My husband confronted her and at first she denied it but then fessed up. He explained how dangerous it can be if she takes medication without anyone’s knowledge. Has anyone has experienced this type of situation and how did you handle it?

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You do not indicate that MIL is living with you or alone.
BUT...
You now know that MIL can not be responsible for her own medications.
You either give them to her when they are to be taken or you get a medication dispensing box that will dispense when it is the time to take medication.
You then are responsible for PROPERLY destroying any medications she is not using. (when I say properly, not down the sink, toilet or just tossed out, find out what your community suggests for the disposal of medications)
Explaining will be effective at that moment but do not expect her to retain that information for any longer than a Nano second.
The other question now comes...what else is she needing help with? Toileting comes to mind as well as bathing/showering.
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That's why facilities insist that their residents don't keep even OTC medications or supplements in their rooms. I remember a poster here whose mother suffered from cyclical bouts of explosive diarrhea - they found out she was self dosing with laxatives 🙄
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Have Mom checked for a UTI.

Our Police Dept has a pill drop box. See if yours does. Another way to dispose of expired medication is putting them in used coffee grounds. For some reason the coffee neutralizes the medication. Do this in a container and throw out in reg trash. I worked for a Visiting Nurse Assoc and this is what recommended people did before the police had their pill drop off.

If Mom has a problem with UTIs, try D-Mannose to help prevent them. It keeps the bacteria from clinging to the sides of the urethra so it just washes away. A Nurse on the forum uses it. Make sure she drinks plenty of water and she cleans herself well.
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Dshapo71 May 2023
Thank you.
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How is she getting these medications?

Beginning stage of dementia - I'm not a believer. Yes, you can learn about dementia and stages, blah blah blah, but dementia is dementia. The people who write such guidelines about stages can't predict what will happen with each individual's progress. They don't know her personally, and they don't have a special window into her brain on this day at this moment or at any time in the future. She might remember all her grandchildren's names and birthdays but not how to step over the shower sill on this day. She might take it into her head to take meds because she remembers taking pink pills 5 years ago and she finds one on the floor and must take it because she recalls something about a pink pill and it always made her stomach feel good or maybe she gave pink pills to her child and believes she took them herself. She may start washing dishes by hand today because she no longer knows what the dishwasher is. Tomorrow she might, though. What stage is all that? No stage. It's all chaos and confusion. It's all dementia.

You can't trust what dementia patients say or do. Your husband can explain until he's blue in the face but mom won't understand simple reasoning. This is going to get worse. It's time for you to investigate care facilities where she's under supervision for meds and everything else.

Good luck, I'm very sorry.
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Dshapo71 May 2023
Thank you for your honest response, without judgement. I really appreciate it.
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