Thinking about taking 85 year old Mom with early stage dementia on family vacation but... will be staying at two different hotels in two different Cities with 3-nights in Savannah GA and 3-nights in Charleston SC. Can't include Mom in all outside activities so ideally I want to hire a CNA or PCA to provide in-room attendance/care for maybe 3-5 hours per day. Mom also has occasional incontinence issues. Is this something that can be arranged with a local At-Home Care Service?
Your family outings.your mother will like that. It will make her happy ,just make sure that the car or plane ride is comfortable and have lots of space .and start your trip with a prayer
You've listed your various options and opinions about them. I was wondering which one you have decided to do or none of them? It sounds to me like no matter which way you go there will be worries. What will be best for him, for you, and everyone on the trip?
An alternative to having her walking far distances would be to take a wheelchair---she would be able to tolerate more activities if it didn't physically wear on her. I assume that no one in the family would be willing to sacrifice 3-5 hours per day to take care of her so you wouldn't have to worry about hiring an HHA. That would probably work out far better & far easier for you and for your mother.
Things to consider: does mom wander, will she be open to caregivers that she does not know, will she be agitated being confined to a hotel room, will that make her anxious? Will being in two different hotel rooms really confuse her? Will she get upset when you leave her behind? I took my mom on a few day trips and she had incontinence accidents, she did okay as along as she was with me, but would not have done well with strangers (care aides). As Rosemary 44 mentioned, my mom also urinates on the carpet or in the closet when she cannot find the bathroom. Unfortunately, taking her may turn into a very stressful event; how will it effect the other family members?
Maybe doing something special for her would be better. Could the trip be modified where family members take a day to visit her. That would be very special for her and less stressful.
She will probably need a TB skin test or chest X-ray and a Doctors note stating that she is in good health.
She will be "on vacation" and you and your family can enjoy your vacation as well.
I placed my Husband for Respite and I must tell you I did worry that I would not be able to bring him home after several weeks of "institutional" living but he adjusted to the facility quite well and getting him home was no problem at all.
The facility will contact you if there are any problems.
You can have friends stop in and check on her as well.
This will also give you a break from care giving and that is what you need and what the family needs.
Your Mom may not like it at first but she would not do well with the travel as well as nights in a different hotel room.
If you insist and truly feel that you need to take her do a search for Agencies that will come in and watch her. If she has no health problems you may just need a "companion" if she needs to be changed or fed you may have to get someone else that is qualified. It depends on the regulations that the particular agency follows.
You will probably still need the medical note stating that she is in good health as well as the TB skin test.
To me its worth the work if Mom can appreciate it. Can she? By the time my Mom came to live with me, she couldn't use a remote or a phone. Reality, TV and dreams were one and the same. She had a little girl she talked to. She walked with a walker. We had a shower put in our powder room for her by a friend of the family. He was so proud of his work but she could not appreciate what he did for her. If Mom can't appreciate and enjoy the vacation, then I wouldn't take her. I would check out respite care. This way you don't have to worry about having strangers in ur home and having to stock up while ur gone. But then you may be the kind of person that the extra effort you take doesn't bother you. For you its just being with Mom. Some Hotels do provide babysitters but have never heard of providing CNAs.
But I have a feeling that your Mom doesn't have any Agency caregivers right now taking care of her. And she would need time to get to know the caregivers and see which one she would like as a regular.
What I am concerned about, if you hire a caregiver in the cities you are visiting, do you know if your Mom would accept these strangers to stay with her for 3 or 5 hours? And I am not sure if an Agency would sent an employee over to a hotel, not first meeting the client and family a day or two prior to the care for an interview.
I think if Mom goes on the trip, someone from the family needs to be with her at all times. Just divide up the care among whom all is going. Maybe whomever is with Mom can find something nice to do in and near the hotel.
Or Mom might decide she needs at nap, I know at 85 I should would !! But don't leave her alone in the room. Nothing scarier then waking up and not know where you are.
have her involved in a 3-4 hour long outdoor ferry tour hence my inquiry regarding an In-room Care Giver attendance. I plan on calling a few Home Care Services for a opinion before making a final decision.
The trip, being left alone in the room, not being included in family activities (that's a blow in and of itself)...it's just too much for someone even w/o dementia. Is there a specific reason why you want to take her if she won't be involved with family? Is it a care issue for leaving her at home?
If you do hire temporary caregivers and let her remain at home, start researching early so you can find good ones you can trust. Or perhaps investigate a short respite care at a facility; at least she'd have 24/7 assistance available.
A new caregiver on top of two new locations is too much for your mother, even assuming you can find a trustworthy service to provide one; and besides it's not like hiring a sitter for a sleeping baby.
As a courtesy to the hotel, you'd better ask if they can provide waterproof mattress protectors. If not, take your own; and if you don't want to cart them around with you then just leave them behind with the hotel bedlinen.
That does sound like a lot of travel for an elderly lady, too. What mode of transport are you using?