Where are their papers, etc. We have been trying for years. HELP! Both in-laws' health are declining more every day,....FIL is very stubborn and won't let anyone in to help take care of house, etc. We have tried for years to help get rid of stuff (his own family) and they both think we are stealing from them even though we have THEM get rid of stuff and we show them everything that goes out of the house/yard....Their house is on the verge of hoarders, it is very cluttered and cannot find anything. We have cleaned out some spaces only to find it packed again.....They are 82 and 83.....My husband has tried talking to them, being nice, being stern....to no avail. I suggested we let them know we will be out in 2 weeks to go through their paperwork, thus giving them 2 weeks to get stuff together. This is driving me nuts as it will be a mess when one goes & the family is left to find paperwork. All FIL will say is "it's all taken care of.." I feel like we are at the point to treat them more sternly like "kids" but with a respect....HELP....We live 2 hours away from them...& do go out at least every weekend or every other weekend.....as we both still work....Thanks
I've calmly tried to explain to mom to at least put in safety deposit box or with attorney but she refuses. My biggest fear is the house catching fire and it is gone. I've threatened that I won't be able to carry out her wishes if I can't find and all will just be turned over to the state and she'll be buried in a paupers grave, lol...not with dad. The stubborn 92 yr old is not budging. Sigh, it'll take weeks to turn the house upside down and hope to find the documents. She changes their hiding place all the time.
I gave my parents a very large red notebook where I had put tabs saying "legal papers" "cars" "finances" "stock" safe box" "elder care" "final plan" "Will" and within each section I asked questions leaving space for my parents to write answers.
Example under "Legal Papers" I asked do you have an Elder Law attorney? If so, name, address of said attorney. Who has financial Power of Attorney? Name and address of said person. Who has medical Power of Attorney? Where is the Deed to your home? House insurance, name and address of company.
My parents are in their mid-90's and just right now are finally updating their Wills, and Power of Attorneys. Mom is POA for Dad, but Mom is almost deaf and can barely see... last time Dad went to the hospital Mom didn't go because of her limitations.... I told Dad when he was in the ER that I shouldn't be making decisions for him because I am not on his POA, that was a wake-up call for him.