She remarried and they moved to his hometown with no family or friends. We (3 children take turns) going to visit. Her spouse was her caregiver in MS, but not he is getting Hospice and we relocated her to CA. Everyone works and we need to place her in a home. She says she needs to go back to take care of him. She wants to go back, get her car and take care of him.
Just thought of one more thing...Maybe there's a special goody he used to enjoy eating and the two of you could make it and mail it off to him. Or, if he's on a special diet, you could help her make something for him to look at, like a fun scrap book. She could leave a space for him to put something in for her to look at, then it could be mailed back to her and she'd be "it" - her turn to put something else him for him to comment to, etc. then send back. Just ideas...
your mom i'm guessing has dementia ,you see she remembers things then she forgets things the she hulucinates....
Her state of mind is remembering and forgetting things periodically..
you have to go with the flow to accomodate her every questions...
if she thinks your her husband is at walmart then you say he will be back later..
if she says he's not coming back cause she thinks he's passed on then go to her and apologize say your'e sorry be empathetic,give her a hug, because in a few minutes she will switch again.
ask her caregivers to accomodate her in that way...
its part of a not normal aging process, be cool...just enjoy her..
about a Nursing Home ,the best most comfortable happiest place your mom can be is living the last days in her home...dying in her home when she is ready..its her house after all.
Accomodate your mom not you....thats whats important...
hire a live-caregiver, money does'nt seem to be an issue..everyones working like you said..
why not? be a giving loving daughter, your parents did take care of you...
besides these are her last days, feed her well let her enjoy music and tv family photos, nursing home dont offer love...
hope this information help..
God bless
sharon {sheridan}
It seems so sad to have them apart....I guess Skype would be the next option...I am not a fan of "therapeutic" fibbing. It makes the situation smoother sometimes for the caregiver...but it doesn't set well for me.
Ptimmie posted this question on August 24th 2011 and has not posted since. Yet this question keeps popping up in our emails asking if we can help this member. Let's stop answering this question and let someone start a new question if they want to!
I come to realize that the posts are from 2011.
Equinox
This is a very difficult situation. God Bless you all!
PatatHome01
PatatHome01