okay so i have "cared" for my perfectly capable mother for a year and two months. I am done with her verbal and sometimes physical abuse. My life has been put on hold and my young daughters life is drastically altered as a result. I am leaving in March of next year (4 months) My question is, how do I tell her? I cannot give her any sort of notice until I have everything sorted out and set up or I will be homeless. So how should I tell her? She will be angry and possibly throw me out instantly. I cannot ask my only sister for help, she reports everything I say directly to Mom.
If that is the case, call your local area agency on aging and ask for a " needs assessment".
It sounds as though you are afraid of your mom.
Please figure out how to move out and re-establish yourself as an independent person.