My wife is mid level ALZ and needs help with everything. She is not bedfast, but spends the day either sleeping or watching TV. She shuffles, feeds herself, but speech is mostly gibberish. However, she is aware of conversation and generally understands what people are saying. She is 78 years old.
I am the sole caregiver, and in addition to tending to her physical needs, take care of the house, laundry, and food preparation. I am a healthy 83 year old and expect to meet her needs as long as necessary. I am not complaining about that, but I just need a break. A few days away from the daily drudgery, a chance to laugh and talk to regular people.
I can get somebody to come in for several days, but I just can't see how I can explain it to her. She will think I am leaving her.
Has anybody faced this and how did you handle it. Comments appreciated.
You sound like a wonderful husband. Your wife is a lucky lady.
Do you have any friends or relatives that live out of town that you could pretend to be visiting? Hopefully not one of your kids, since your wife might feel left out or insist that they come visit instead of you leaving. A high school or college reunion that you could pretend to go to? Any sports or events that you like but she doesn't such as that you might get invited to by an old friend? If all else fails, you could pretend to be going into the hospital for a minor elective surgery.
Hope this helps.
If she likes flowers, you could bring her a few roses or small bouquet each time you leave. Or maybe a small box of candy, or apples or other fresh fruit. Best yet would be to bring something that the two of you can enjoy, but make it a surprise.
Alternately, would you consider taking her for a short trip as well, so you both get out of the house and have your own respective respite times? Perhaps a drive through a park, along a lake, to a cider mill in autumn....something beautiful and relaxing...
Or do you think the change of scenery might be too confusing?
Many years ago, my aunt was persuaded after many years of caring on her own for my uncle with Alzheimers, that he would be fine in memory care. He WAS fine, in fact he thrived there. She dropped dead of a heart attack a few months after his placement. Don't wait as long as she did to take a break, please.
Based on your description, I would think that she is not inclined to be sensitive or objectionable to your outings. I would approach it calmly and leave and return with no fan fare. It's highly likely she will not recall that you left.