My father was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer 5 weeks ago. He has declined signfiicantly and been hospitalized for the last week. He was in ICU for 4 days and is now on the oncology ward. We are looking into hospice, although my father has not come to terms with his prognosis yet. I spent 4 days with him in ICU and have since been visting him for a 3ish hours per day. My work is very understanding. I work about a half day and spend the other half at the hospital. I am home at night with my family. My husband thinks that "enough is enough" and I do not need to visit daily or for long periods of time. He is worred about my job and not spending enough time with our young daugthers (age 1 and 3). He is a stay-at-home dad and I am the sole income for our family. I am upset that he does not support my decision to spend as much time as feasible with my father. After a lengthy discussion, my husband states that he does not understand why I feel an obligation or devotion to my father when he's not been as good as father to me as my husband is to our children. I am at my wits end, very stressed and now extremely hurt by my husbands lack of compassion and support. It's only been 7 days, yet he feels that "it's been a week, time to get back to your life." I appreciate any guidance or perspective because I truly cannot understand his viewpoint.
My sig other was grumbling a couple weeks ago about how he hates hospitals, does't want to go inside, doesn't like the smell [what smell???], yada, yada, yada. I looked at him and said I will remember that when he is in the hospital, I will make the same excuses not to come to visit him.
I would ask him if he is ever in the hospital, shall you and the children not visit him? How would he feel?
I'm not sure i would ask you to get back to normal life, but i would ask you to think seriously about what effect your absorbtion in your dad's illness is having on your very young children. Is their primary parent noticing behavioral changes
?