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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My Mum suffers from anxiety and does not leave the house ever since my Dad died in 2012. I was wonting to become her carer but don't no if the doctors or the social would let me
Minipati, please note that not everyone is cut out to be caregiver... just like everyone is not cut out to be a brain surgeon, a State trooper, a politician, a firefighter.
Why push someone into a new "career" that they know isn't right for them.... thus not working in the best interest of the love one that needs care.
I find it interesting that someone who cares for their father, living at independent living is so quick to tell others that they are being selfish or should quick their careers.
Dee ripp you don't say how old your mum is or how old you are. Could this be a lifelong commitment for you? Minipati says it would be selfish of you to not take care of her but that doesn't mean you have to devote your life to the job. Read the 10 million posts on this site about caregiver burnout and then consider how much you can do or if you need in home help or assited living for mom.
Dee, you don't need permission to be a caregiver. You can just start to help in whatever way you can. The advice about getting your mother some medical help is excellent. The world can be a scary place to someone with an anxiety disorder. I have had some bouts with panic disorder and agoraphobia, so I know how bad it can be. One really has to work at getting well.
Things that I found that help are medication (antidepressant and Xanax), eating good meals, drinking water, but most important: getting out. I embraced the saying "Feel the fear and do it anyway" and would make myself get out of the house as much as I could stand. There were times that the fear and derealization were very bad, but a person has to work through it. Maybe you can help your mother do that. One step at a time.
I would say the first step is getting her medical help. This will be hard to do if she won't leave home. I wish that every city had a visiting home care service to help people with agoraphobia.
I would caution you not to be immersed in the depth of your mother's mental illness, rather stay grounded at the shore and try to help her from there. Keep enough distance as to not drown with her. Best of luck to you
I have been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks since high school, during those years I have also developed social anxiety and even talking to people triggers panic attacks! Some days are better than other and some days are worse. Recently I have found something that helps me to cope with the anxiety and control my panic attacks to a certain extent. Although it does not cure my attacks It has really helped me improve. When you have a chance I would recommend you take a look at steamspoils/panic-away-review It is a good read, I hope I helped somebody else out there!
DeeRip, you say your Mum never leaves the house... are you meaning not go shopping, visiting doctors, or you mean socializing? Is she able to go outside the house, get her mail, do some gardening? Sounds like your Mum really misses her hubby, he must have been her rock that she had depended upon.
Agoraphobia can be complex... I get that once in awhile, and find distractions help. If she is afraid to walk outside of the house, try to coax her out for a couple of seconds each day to show her a butterfly or a flower, and allow her to dash back inside if she must... then add on a few more seconds each time... don't get discourage. Or if you have a patio or deck, try to have lunch outside.
Are you willing to give up your life for hers? Do you already live with her or would you have to move in. Do you have a job and plan to continue working or do you plan to quit your job and live off your mother's money.
Has your mother seen a doctor regarding her agoraphobia and anxiety? There are medications that might help her and bring her back to a more normal state. It may be that she will be able to function on her own and not yet need a full-time caregiver.
Get her to a medical doctor first, to eliminate anything physical, and to a mental therapist next. Obviously someone is supplying her with all her needs for the past 3 years. I'm assuming that is you, so in a way you are already her caregiver. Not sure how much more you want to do with/for her. But I would start with the doctor visits.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Why push someone into a new "career" that they know isn't right for them.... thus not working in the best interest of the love one that needs care.
Things that I found that help are medication (antidepressant and Xanax), eating good meals, drinking water, but most important: getting out. I embraced the saying "Feel the fear and do it anyway" and would make myself get out of the house as much as I could stand. There were times that the fear and derealization were very bad, but a person has to work through it. Maybe you can help your mother do that. One step at a time.
I would say the first step is getting her medical help. This will be hard to do if she won't leave home. I wish that every city had a visiting home care service to help people with agoraphobia.
When you have a chance I would recommend you take a look at steamspoils/panic-away-review
It is a good read, I hope I helped somebody else out there!
Agoraphobia can be complex... I get that once in awhile, and find distractions help. If she is afraid to walk outside of the house, try to coax her out for a couple of seconds each day to show her a butterfly or a flower, and allow her to dash back inside if she must... then add on a few more seconds each time... don't get discourage. Or if you have a patio or deck, try to have lunch outside.
Are you willing to give up your life for hers? Do you already live with her or would you have to move in. Do you have a job and plan to continue working or do you plan to quit your job and live off your mother's money.
Has your mother seen a doctor regarding her agoraphobia and anxiety? There are medications that might help her and bring her back to a more normal state. It may be that she will be able to function on her own and not yet need a full-time caregiver.
Get her to a medical doctor first, to eliminate anything physical, and to a mental therapist next. Obviously someone is supplying her with all her needs for the past 3 years. I'm assuming that is you, so in a way you are already her caregiver. Not sure how much more you want to do with/for her. But I would start with the doctor visits.