77 yr old sister has many mental health problems (depression, anxiety) but medication seemed to manage it. Hip replacements have increased issues including sudden and rapid dementia. 3 weeks after moving to Asst Living facility they want 12 hr/day additional care. She is disruptive. Goes to main desk to ask for assistance. She screams instead of pushing button. They sent her to ER bc of erratic behavior justified by high heart rate and confusion. Nothing medical found. We are dealing with this from 6 hours away. Communication has been poor from AL. They obviously can't deal with her but we feel that is what we are paying for. Maybe meds but we can't get to talk to anyone although we try. We were warned by a third person after we moved her that this may be an issue since they did the same with his friend. "He needs more care. He needs memory care." He was moved to another place.
What are our options?
This is WAY above what Assisted Living is designed for.
I cannot imagine doing this without 24/7 attendant in all honesty, because while she may have one on one help for 12 hours, what about the other 12. This sort of thing only get worse in night hours.
I agree that this is almost impossible from hours away. But the fact is that you have been told the truth. They cannot handle this level of care, and your poor Sis may actually have to be housed eventually in a psychiatric facility where she can be medicated to some minimally functional level.
I am terribly sorry. My own brother, with probable early Lewy's dementia was in ALF. He was well, capable, kind, gentle, and he had a community he lived with who were much the same. When someone was out of control they could no longer stay in the ALF cottages and had to move on to MC. They would have greatly disrupted those living in peace, doing activities, and under control. This wouldn't have been allowed, quite honestly for even a day.
These are private facilities. You quite honestly have no options, and they are correct; this isn't a good placement for your Sis.