My dad lives with us. He is 86 and has prostate cancer and non hogdkins lymphoma. With that said I'm so tired of him bellowing my name. He can get up if he wanted but other than to go to the bathroom won't. My family helps when they can or when he lets them. He likes to remind me I get paid to care for him. Today he did get up and let his dog out then sat at the table and said he needed help getting up. My daughter offered to help, I was upstairs and he said no get your mom. He can do a lot more than he does but he chooses not to. I know start making him do for himself but he will just lay in bed and yell my name. It's to the point I walk on eggshells around his room so that sometimes he dosnt know I'm home. Some days I just hide out in my room just to watch a movie and have a break. I make his meals then tell him I have errands to run. It's sad that it's come to this but what else can I do. I'm looking into AL but that will take time. He took care of my step mom when she was sick and used to complain to me about her being so needy maybe I should remind him how he felt. He finally put her in AL she passed a few years ago. Anyway I guess I'm just tired. Thanks for letting me vent.
I know how tough it is to figure out exactly what they can do for themselves and what they really need help with. And the annoyance and irritation of suspecting that you're being played or taken advantage of but not being able to tell for sure. I was just reflecting earlier today on how slovenly my Mom has become in some of her personal habits (for example, the tray of her walker is always covered with crumbs and spills and used Kleenex, etc. - it would drive me crazy to have to look at it and I'd be reaching for the wet-wipes in 5 seconds) yet she has plenty of get-up-and-go for things she actually wants to do. All her initiative is directed to things that give her pleasure - nothing else. Everything she doesn't care about then becomes someone else's job. Very frustrating! (And I don't get paid for anything I do)