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You are correct not to report...not sure any of what is mentioned constitutes an infraction. Maybe talk to them to play less on their phones, engage your mom a bit more, but if they are awake and essential care needs are being addressed, don't rock the boat.
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I don't know about those workers, they may need replacing and then monitoring moving forward. I'm trying to add on cameras before bringing more people into the home because I want to see how dad interacts with others and how others treat my parent and home.

Doing hair and showering - no on those for me. I may would try to be okay with the laundry if they have shifts beyond the norm. But again I'm funny about stuff like that so my mind would be all over the place wondering what bad habits they hold.

Give you an example; trying to keep dad in our home for a while. He at 87 thinks he can still stand and hit the target. So last weekend he had his &*? on him and told me if I didn't get out his way and let him stand like he wants he would pea on me. My bp went through the roof. I told him if he did he would immediately be removed from our home. I left the room to cool off only to find he missed.

Urine everywhere (on toilet and on floor in front of toilet). I told him that he had made work for himself and that I'll do the final cleanup. He goes, it's just urine and urine on floor ain't nothing. BP up again.

So those things would go through my head when it comes to others because I know how I like to keep my home.

Would love to hear your end results.
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Get a copy of the expectations of caregivers from the agency.
Post copies in a few places in your mom/s home.
Let caregivers know these are just reminders for everybody.
If you see a problem, "remind" the caregiver of the expectation list.
If the problem is repeated, report to agency.

You may have to let them know that your mom does not have unlimited resources to pay for their water and electric needs.
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Get independent caretakers. You will be happier! Don’t report the infractions until the new caretakers are in place. Then do so, to prevent this from happening to others. Make sure the caretakers you are complaining about don’t have a key or other access, to take any revenge.

Remember that these people are your employees and they should be doing their job.

Your mom should feel delighted, not stressed by their arrival. I remember once a caretaker came to help me and Mom was so thrilled and ready for me to leave. It hurt my feelings a bit and then I realized that we had hired the right caretaker.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2021
ACaringDaughter,

The caregiver should certainly do their job and get along with the clients. It isn't our job to make sure the clients are delighted with our arrival. That's asking a bit too much.
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Nanny cam.
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It's hard to find good honest people today; which is a shame for our LO's. Even though the care they give; when they do give it, is helping her; you need to let the agncy know what's going on. I'm lucky enough; actually Mom is lucky enough; to have a retired nurse who was working with seniors at the hospital she retired from for nearly 30 years. She's a Godsend and has Mom engaged nearly the entire time she's been here; going on 6 months. She's here M-F from 8a-1p; give or take depending on if she's able to come a couple hours on Sat afternoon to make her lunch & give her her meds so I don't have to take off work early. I also let her know that she can wash her cloths here if needed since she does my Mom's and that might be a half a load at max. Never once thought twice with her here, so I guess I'm lucky in that regards. She works thru an agency in our area called European Services at Home. From the personal experiences I've had with a few of them, I can't say anything bad. Give them a call if you live in Northern Illinois or Southern Wisconsin; I think they cover WISC also. They seem to vett their employees a lot more than most and their training for new caregivers also seems to be above what other agencies do. Good luck & God Bless.
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jeanmarie12 Aug 2021
Shifts are 12 hours and agency doesn't want to pay overtime so given that there are 2-4 different people for each shift per week
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If you have two people hired to be there at the same time and they have time to color their hair, it would seem one person could do the job. Get rid of the buddy system and reevaluate what the agency told you the caregiver tasks would be.

I wouldn't have a problem w/someone washing a load of clothes once a week - but more than that is too much. Make a daily task list from your agency contract and have the solo employee check off each task as completed.

Once you allow an employee to do things that they should be doing, it's not an employee problem - it's a problem with employer for not saying anything.
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Coloring each other’s hair! I don’t think so. Why are there two aides anyway? You are being taken advantage of and your mother is correct: she is being disrespected. Call the agency and tell them you want new aides as your mother isn’t doing well with the current ones. You don’t have to go into detail (however I would). Meantime, call a local church or ask friends if they know anyone who does homecare. Or place an ad in a local/community free paper. You can’t do any worse!
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In a word, Fire them. You need caregivers who are attentive to your mothers needs. Period. Coloring each other’s hair is not what you pay the aides for. Also, they need to be paying attention to your mother not on their phones when with her. This is on your fine or hers. And is not acceptable behaviour.

So either report them to the agency or hire another agency. That’s the bottom line. They are Care givers. Not beauticians. Sorry to be so blunt.
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I’m tough too. After my mom was robbed of her valuable jewelry. All if it. And we caught the aide who did it. From an agency and we prosecuted. She also stole and used 4 credit cards. The agency was “shocked” because she seemed like such a nice agreeable person and everyone liked her. We fired them too.
nothing can replace my moms stress and the loss of her wedding and engage rings. And all the rest of her jewelry. It happened Over the holidays as well.
of the agency you use isn’t supportive at provided good qualified and compassionate people to care for your mom (you said it was 24/7), you need to keep shopping. I know it’s rough. Been dealing with this for over 10 years now. Twice we’ve had phenomenal aides, but the majority of the ones hired through agencies gave not been. And the minute you become reluctant to complain means you are settling and that’s not good. If these people can’t do what they’re supposed to do, they need to go. And quickly. For everyone’s well bring. We waited too long and settled. And the horrific events that transpired was the result.
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jeanmarie12: Imho, your mother's place of residence is NOT a beauty salon. The actions of the caregivers are appalling.
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My mom has aides daily m-f for 5 hours. I am tired of awful caregivers . I finally let loose and told the company that I did not want xyz to come back. My husband works from home and caregiver was sitting on his chair with her shoes off , leaned back, playing on phone. Mom is pretty easy so no. We aren’t Doing that I told them I wanted someone else. Why should I pay for a bad caregiver. We have 3 girls now. One is okay. The other is great and the other on Saturdays is fantastic. If you don’t say anything then nothing will change. You are paying if they aren’t providing good service then go with another company. My current company was on strike three when they finally lined up the current provided. Don’t tolerate sucky care.
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Having employed caretakers via an agency for my 95 yo mother, this is my personal take on this situation, as described: You contracted with an agency, not the individual caretakers. It is the agency that provides the liability insurances, takes care of taxes, etc, etc. Thus, if there is an issue with a caretaker, I talk to the agency. Especially since if I personally spoke to the caretaker, without any other 'witness', what I said could be misconstrued or misheard/interpreted. I feel it is the agency's responsibility to discipline.

I don't care how many hours the caretaker is employed - if they are 'on the clock' and being paid for their time, then their sole and total responsibility is for taking care of the patient. If they are performing personal things during that time, in essence, YOU are paying them to color their hair; YOU are paying them to make personal calls; YOU are paying them to do their laundry (without permission to use your appliances); and YOU are paying them to take a shower and thereby endanger your parent by not having supervision.

Some may counter - well, the caretakers don't make very much. Well, EVERY service industry employee is underpaid - it doesn't provide the excuse that they can 'make up' for the smaller wages by engaging in other behaviors. For example, what if your flight attendant was busy making a personal call on her cell phone while making the final take-off checks, or was putting on a coat of nailpolish while in-flight? Would that be o.k?

Hiring a independent careprovider - they would need to be bonded and insured; you would need to talk to your homeowner's insurance (liability, personal injury, etc) and your cpa/tax prep expert; also check with your state/county/city for things like unemployment insurance etc. There is a lot that goes into hiring independents.

Finally, if expressing dissatisfaction with service, make sure they don't have a key or access to a key (could make a copy). And I always worried about retaliation. That is why going through a highly reputable agency that pays well (not all of them do)is utmost important
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gelleng Aug 2021
Who are the reputable agencies that pay well and retain their caregivers?
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Your mother is not receiving the services the 'caregivers' are being paid to do. ABSOLUTELY REPORT THEM -- and find new caregivers! Your mother is being disrespected and that is intolerable. I would make certain to make that agency famous and report to licensing agency.
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They only thing the 'caregivers' are doing in assisting your mother -- is assisting her in wasting her money.
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We also never would have been able to afford continued private at-home care with an agency.

When you use an agency the caretaker only earns a small amount of what you’re paying.

The benefits of using a service (providing substitute workers and processing paychecks) were outweighed by the cost savings for us.

Once you find someone you like, a “nanny” payroll service charges a nominal fee for processing payment (withholding, etc).
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I'm not clear about the 24/7 arrangement. Are the caregivers staying in your mother's home, or arriving from elsewhere for 8 hour shifts, or what?

If they're actually living there, even if temporarily, then of course they would expect standard domestic conveniences. Colouring one another's hair might be a bit much, but using the shower (obviously!) and even the washing machine isn't.

If they aren't living in then I can't imagine why this hasn't already been tackled. But seeing as it hasn't, call the agency and get the ground rules sorted out. (Your mother hasn't told them it's fine to use the shower and the washing machine or anything, has she?)
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Speak to them directly.
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I don't think the answer is cut and dried - no pun intended. It really depends on what works for all of you. I had pretty much 24/7 care for my mom for 5 YEARS with 1 nationally known agency - initials HI. Through effort, stress, anger, and anguish, I made it work for me. This particular franchise is not well run, but it did attract some good helpers, which I worked hard to get - and keep. Basically I ran the operation as my own sub company and most of the helpers considered me their boss, not HI. Yes, I know it all sounds kind of crazy but there is no ideal agency with perfect helpers. Plus there are caregiver shortages everywhere. So... bottom line. What are you and your mom open to? My mom had dementia, so on some level she probably would have enjoyed being part of a hair coloring session. Is the helper really good but stressed and just needs to run through some laundry while she is with your mom? Yes, it all sounds crazy and unacceptable on its face, but you're right. Will the new helpers be worse? Will your mom go into anxiety with new people? IMHO you set the boundaries, and those boundaries may not exactly match the rules or what all of us think you should do. It's easy to say unacceptable, fire them. But again this is not a perfect world.Remember the end goal: good care for your mom. Make it happen in whatever way works best for you. Oh, and I would NOT try to hire people myself. The obvious paperwork for payroll, plus if they get sick and can't show up, guess who's going to be doing the care. Good luck!
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When I've had problems I've talked with the caregivers directly.

We've used agency and also direct pay.

Our direct pay caregivers many times work other jobs. I'm okay with them taking a shower if they overnight and have to go to their next job at a nursing home etc.

I've also had direct pay caregivers work 24 hours or more. I'm okay if they take showers in these situations.

Be aware there is a major shortage of caregivers in the US right now.
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