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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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annetx, you must be doing something right, your relatives keep on coming over. So don't worry about it so much. I know, we were all brought up to be the perfect hostess. Gone are the days of being Hyacinth Bucket "Keeping up Appearances" with our candle light suppers using our Royal Worcester double-glazed Avignon china and Royal Doulton china with "the hand-painted periwinkles'.
Any time my parents come over to my home [they live literally around the corner] I use to clean the first floor like crazy, it would pass the white glove test.... no more, I don't have the energy to be Hazel, I will give the carpet a quick vacuum and dust the tops of the tables, and run a Lysol wipe around the power room. Heck, my parents have issues with their eyesight so they won't see the dust anyway :P
As for cooking, I use Olive Garden carry-out, what a godsend that has been for me. Call in the order, and it's ready for pickup in a half hour :)
Stay a week??? I wouldn't let them stay 3 hours. Company is very draining on a care giver, in my opinion. AND it disrupts routine which is often what gets us through our days.
"I'm sorry, but we can't put you up this trip. Here's the number of the Best Western 3 miles away. Then encourage them to combine a vacation by letting them know that you'd like them to limit their visits to YOUR house to an hour a day.
You folks make my day. Hazel! Hadn't thought about her in years. Maggie you should give lessons, "How to talk to a sibling that just doesn't get it" :)
" I couldn't possibly have anyone stay here. You just wouldn't be comfortable with mom wandering naked at night. Here's the phone number for Motel 6" . OR, yes, that would be lovely if you stayed and cared for mom for a week, so nice of you to suggest a respite for me. I'm going to book a quick 5 day trip to Ft. Lauderdale"
I'm with ba8, tell them "yes, how lovely" and then have your bags packed when they arrive, take off! Even if it's just for a long weekend.
If you can't be that bold, suggest a hotel and then when they come over, make them take mom out during the day on some day trips if she is able, so you have time for yourself. Suggest everyone take a night to prepare a meal and clean up or ask them to bring in takeout as a treat.
How rude of them to think their visits is easy on the caregiver, far from it. It disrupts the routine and small talk or having to show them around, etc. is exhausting.
Hope you can find a better way and they can at least give you respite.
I'd let them stay at my house and I;d go to the dang hotel!! TV when I want, room service, sleeping in.. YIPPEE!!! But really.. they stay for a week and bring other people? Where the heck do you live? On the beach or something vacationy? BTW, I love the naked Mom comment... Start taking advantage of them instead of vice versa.. you may get lucky and get a break, or more likely they will stop comming around so often..
One thing we are forgetting, how does Mom like having company for a week? If it brightens up Mom's day and she enjoys it, thus she is easier to work with after the relatives leave, that is a plus.
If it causes too much disruption and throws Mom off schedule, then have the relatives limit the visits to just a weekend.
She does like it freqflyer but with her life is in the moment so it won't affect how things are once they leave. I do feel that by guarding myself from company I may be missing out on some closeness that would help me more than keeping them at bay to avoid stress.
Maybe then some company would be good - but on your terms. A motel, take-out food and as for housekeeping - if it is not a fire hazard, health hazard, or similar, then it is not a problem worth worrying about.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Any time my parents come over to my home [they live literally around the corner] I use to clean the first floor like crazy, it would pass the white glove test.... no more, I don't have the energy to be Hazel, I will give the carpet a quick vacuum and dust the tops of the tables, and run a Lysol wipe around the power room. Heck, my parents have issues with their eyesight so they won't see the dust anyway :P
As for cooking, I use Olive Garden carry-out, what a godsend that has been for me. Call in the order, and it's ready for pickup in a half hour :)
"I'm sorry, but we can't put you up this trip. Here's the number of the Best Western 3 miles away. Then encourage them to combine a vacation by letting them know that you'd like them to limit their visits to YOUR house to an hour a day.
Keep control. Be assertive. You're not Motel Six.
If you can't be that bold, suggest a hotel and then when they come over, make them take mom out during the day on some day trips if she is able, so you have time for yourself. Suggest everyone take a night to prepare a meal and clean up or ask them to bring in takeout as a treat.
How rude of them to think their visits is easy on the caregiver, far from it. It disrupts the routine and small talk or having to show them around, etc. is exhausting.
Hope you can find a better way and they can at least give you respite.
If it causes too much disruption and throws Mom off schedule, then have the relatives limit the visits to just a weekend.