Is it too late for me to draw up a caregiver agreement?

I believe your sister's signature would need to be notarized as well. We had a notary come to the house - it was only $35. But the notary will question your sister to see if she understands what she is signing. If she does not understand, it is no good. I think the suggestion of documenting the household expenses and medication co-pays and anything else you can and attribute those payments for that room, board and expenses would be the better way to go, but Mr. Heiser is the expert and he may have some important information to tell all of us about doing that. Good luck!

Cheryl167: so true. My mother had a stroke in July, leaving without use of left side, and our family has been caring for her, (My brother & sisters visit and help when they can, but have younger children). Visiting while in rehab, then moved her and dad-in-law in with us. Dad has back issues, and drinks his pain away. So we have to do all the transferring, feeding both, shopping, getting them both to doctor appointments, bathing, changing, etc. as he cannot. Her stroke left her with a list of meds, left side hemiplegic. Her left arms is twitchy, but usable (message from brain slow), but leg is pretty much un-usable. Working with PT via Home Health to get it working again, but it's been a very slow regaining of movement. She is only 63. Problem is we try to sit her up to gain strength in her core/trunk, but dad always wants her lying in the bed. OT tells us the bed is worse thing for her, but RNS want her laying in bed to check her. He babies her, while we try to do what therapists ask us to do. Had to go back to work after exhausting FMLA, so now self-employed husband (he works mostly at night, so this helps), does most of work during the day. We think Dad wants us to baby the both of them. This has been a real eye-opener to the medical system and the way they (mainly insurance co.), are shipping people home to be cared for, to cut their costs, as Medicare & Medicaid are gonna have a big wave of baby boomer generation entering the system. More and more of us will be taking care of parents. Something needs to be done because reading these forums makes me see that a lot of people in 40s & 50s & even 60s, are stressed out to the max, in the "sandwich generation", trying to balance taking care of mom n dad and their kids. We love our parents/ family & believe in helping family, but caregiving seriously needs to be addressed better in this country. I am the only female other than mom In our household, so certain things my boys & DH feel uncomfortable with, I do. We need to Allow a better work-life balance for those of us who need to take care of our parents, get them to a Drs appt, or other caregiving issues. No one can understand the stress until they become a caregiver. Are there on-call services I could pay a HHA to come for, or do they have to be set hours?

See if your state has an AFC (Adult Foster Care) Program. If you & your sister qualifiy the program will pay for you to care for your sister in your home.

Wow, I look after my 88 year old mum who had a stroke and broken pelvis and relies on me for everything... for nothing..just because I love her and want her to feel safe. She has just started giving me $300 per week to help with food, electricity etc and I feel guilty taking it, but she gets angry if I don't - I guess it gives her a sense of "paying her way" so good luck to everyone because life is short and our loved one's won't be here forever

I have to admit I absolutely Love Ferris1 because She says it as it is, no mollycoddling, right on the nose, and I agree again. I cared for My Mother until She passed away and I informed Revenue of Our circumstances since I have always been Self Employed and I emphasised that I would not be applying for Carers Benifit as this was some thing I kneeded to do for My Dear Mother, simply because I adored the Crater, and I would gladly do it all again.

This really highlights the fact that carers save the government
billions of dollars with unpaid slave labour conditions.
They are put into an intolerable position.
Politicians however can afford to pay round the clock nurses
to take the care of their elderly relatives.

WELL SAID!!!!! The answers Ferris has been giving have been pretty heartless often times....my questions is, with that particular negative attitude why bother to post here? People are seeking understanding and information. People can receive "rude" anywhere, I don't believe this is the correct forum for rude.

Ferris has started being snarky a lot......$2500 a month is cheap cheap cheap and she knows it. Giving up ones life to care for someone else is admirable. I took care of my mother for no charge but my sister was paid.....she and I split the responsibilities. It was my house and I did all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, doctors trips etc. My husband makes good money and we were happy to be able to have mother here. My sister is a professional care giver and has been for many many years she earned her pay and then some.....I guess Ferris will expect someone to take care of her for free when the time comes....good luck with that, especially with that nasty attitude. Do what you can with a good conscience and negative nellies be damned.

It is difficult for me to believe ferris1 is female, that particular level of "rude" is usually reserved for folks without feelings.

Davidw63, caregivers here in NY State make roughly $9.00, and 24/7 care is not even in the realm of possibility for actual coverage by Medicaid even if the assessment is given. $10.00 is generous....not judging, just the reality.

Mary, I agree that you need to discuss this with an attorney, but I wonder if at least part of the money your sister is paying could be re-characterized so that it is not viewed as either income or a gift to you. Do you own the house you are living in? Maybe part of the money could be considered rent. Also, utilities, groceries, services such as lawn care and other expenses could be paid with your sister's funds.

Ferris1: What are you talking about---too much? If you divide $2500 by 31 days, you get $80.65, and then by the normal 8 hour work day, you get a little over $10.00 an hour but we all know caregiving is not 8 hours if you live with the person. As far as I'm concerned as one who has worked for hospice the sister is getting off cheap. Caregiving while living with someone can really be 24/7 so divide 2500 by 744 hours and you get $3.36 an hour. Who are you going to get to work for 3.36 an hour? You are pushing it for $10.00 an hour.

Next time you want to judge, and condemn someone and imply she doesn't love her sister, please do the math first!!!

Thank you for your response, Gabriel. I had not thought of the clear conflict of interest, but you are correct. It is like me hiring myself. I have no idea what to do at this point. I am going to speak with the local Medi-Cal office (I'm in California) and perhaps get some advice.

Thank you for posting your question. You expressed it well and the answers will also provide some answers for me.

A caregiver agreement is a good idea, but it will only (possibly) shield the transfers to you from your mother from being Medicaid gifts to you from the date the agreement is signed. You should try to find out the exact requirements of a caregiver agreement in your state, by inquiring at the state Medicaid department. Most states require that it be in writing, not exceed the normal cost for such care in your locality, specify your obligations, etc.
You also run into a problem of authorizing the agreement as agent under the POA, since you are hiring yourself, a clear conflict of interest.

Although the vast majority of people who post here try to be helpful, kind and compassionate, along comes someone like "ferris1" who announces that I should be a caregiver with no compensation, knowing absolutely nothing about the situation. She also announces that my sister could hire someone for much less than $2500 a month. In the state where I live, competent caregivers who come into one's home and must be trusted and bonded, charge a minimum of $20 an hour and up. Multiplying this figure by 24 hours in a day and 30 days in a month comes up as over $14,000. Since "ferris1" would like the job for $2500 a month, which requires 24/7 care and chores, she has no idea what she's talking about. Of course, with her nasty attitude and ability to criticize, I wouldn't want her anywhere near my sister or me. Thanks to the rest of you who have replied in very helpful and considerate ways.

GardenArtist. I had sisters who help with my elderly parents. I did beyond a doubt much for both of my aging parents - more than you will ever know. My parents were both dead when this woman arrived in my life. I am not asking for your sympathy, what I am asking for is direction. I just go to the local police, with my binder of information, and the local police will tell me their is nothing they can do.

Mary, Im sorry some people on here are so rude. What you do is your business. If you think she is going to need medicaid than you should consult an attorney. You could draw up an agreement now however the back payments may cause her some issues when she applies so you need legal advice to structure things properly. Also you need to be claiming this money as income or you and her will face problems down the road. I am sorry for your sisters situation and hope the best for both of you.

Massage wrote: ""I did more for her than my own mother." Why? I frankly find it difficult to be sympathetic if you cared more for a friend than your own mother.

If you feel that this handyman is a scam artist, gather your evidence and go to the police with a complaint of elder abuse.

This is the truth. I had a verbal agreement with a client. I am a Licensed PA Massage Therapist. I was paid for the massage, 1x a week. However in addition, I as her only source of help, for years 2001-2010 did all of the duties as stated in the personal care agreement found on this website - 3x a week for 3-4 hours/day. I became ill, asked her CPA to get her help and ask for compensation. It did not happen. She fell and ended up in a nursing home. Her handy-man, supposedly became her POA and changed her will at 92 years of age when she had a severe hearing defect from birth and cataracts and could not see. As my friend had no immediate family, I believe the CPA and appointed POA? were acting together in this. Their is no way this man would have known her personal assets without the CPA. Their is no way she could have heard of read this will. When I became some what better, I found her and the acting POA put a harassment charge on me, wanting me to stay away because of many shady doings. I was not charged, but told to take it to a higher court. I did not have the money. Unfortunately, I never seen my friend again because of this POA. Now thinking more clearly, this POA I am sure was forgery, fraud and undue influence. This handyman, who my friend did not trust, had a will leaving him everything - more than 1/2 million. This will was not drawn up in a lawyers office. It is a standard form with supposedly her signature (I am trying to get her signature somewhere) and was witnessed and signed. I am sure this was not notarized in front of a notary. Probably taken to him, stating she is in a nursing home and cannot get here or something. This man committed many other things, that I will try to prove. He belongs in prison. He also has a criminal offense record on him, I'm not sure for what, but I do know in PA law, he cannot act as an executor of a will if you have a criminal offense. What type of lawyer do I need. I am not a relative, and was told I cannot challenge this will as I do not have standing. I have found a first cousin, can I just get his approval to challenge this will or put this man behind bars. Please advise. Also it is my understanding that verbal agreements are legal. I took care of her from 82-92 years of age. I bathed her, before each massage, took care of everything. I did more for her than my own mother. Her original will shown to me many times drawn up by the same CPA was leaving her assets to Animal Friends as she had no children. I did contact the local Animal Friends before she died, and they stated without a copy of that will, they could do nothing. Just lies after lies from this CPA and supposedly POA. Can I get a lawyer to get my money promised to me for help done to her. I have many witnessed, who knew I help her and what I did, that will give sworn testimony. My practice was at a fitness center next to her home, so everyone knew her and knew me and what I did for her, she promised to help me when she passed. I do need the money. Only recently, when visiting my parents at the cemetery, did I see she also passed. They are very close in the cemetery. The marker on the tomb - date of death was wrong compared to the death notice (public record). I promised her I would always put flowers and say prayers for her and her husband. This handy man found her years ago, when he read the obituary for her husband in the paper. She would chase him away, but he persisted. I strongly believe he is doing this to others as he advertises in the Catholic newspaper with discounts to seniors, and then rips them off. This is what happened here. God bless you for any help or direction.

Heck, for $2500 I'll take care of your sister. If you live together why do you need a "caregiver agreement"? Aren't family members supposed to take care of each other in times of need? It sounds as though you are taking advantage of your sister's savings to line your own pockets. If she is competent to sign said agreement, then she can hire someone else to take care of her a lot cheaper. Good grief woman, where is your love for your sister?

Since sis has been paying you all along you should see an elder law attorney that specializes in medicaid planning.

Maybe you could repay sis everything she has paid you, which then sis would pay you a lump sum then monthly going forward. There are tax consequences, social security, etc that must also be arranged.

check to see if your state allows lump sum payments-elder law attorney might be able to answer on free visit some questions

maybe the lump sum would help in this particular arrangement ?

I came across this article here on Aging Care that I hope will answer some of your questions.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/personal-care-agreements-compensate-family-caregivers-181562.htm

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