I am the DPOA for my mom. She is in end stages of Parkinson's and was in a nursing home. She made the remarks she would rather kill herself than live like this anymore and the nursing home told me she had to go to a geriatric psychiatric unit for evaluation. She has been there over a week and she is just declining and I don't see where this place is helping her. As DPOA do I have the right to take her out of there and bring her home?
It would seem to me that unless someone has been confined to a facility by a judge, a family member would have the right to remove a loved one from a facility. Talk to her doctor about meds, her diseases, and your desire to move her home.
The wife said, "No, YOU need a doc's permission, to show to the doctor with all the boxes checked. WE need to find good care for my MOTHER! "
And we left.
Ma began to improve almost immediately, and has now made a full recovery. We suspect that that place was doping her up so that it looked like she needed to stay there, for the rest of her life.
When it comes to family members, never just trust everybody, just because they are "in the health care" business. For some, it's sad to say, it's all about filling beds, and then filling out the paperwork, so they can get paid.
but he didn't have to. Every day at home, now all improved. Every case is different, but try to obtain it on your own. I had no DPOA, just determination.
The truth is that any time a patient starts making remarks about "killing themselves," a facility is obligated to obtain a psychiatric evaluation, because that patient is considered a "suicide risk." The NH was covering themselves, legally. If they ignored it and the patient did manage to kill themselves, the State could come in and shut them down.
Have you obtained a list of the medications she is on? If not, you need to do that immediately and review the meds with the nurse there. If there has been a big change in her medications, it could be contributing to her decline.
You could take her "out of there and bring her home" - but are you really equipped to deal with that? What if the hallucinations are all part of her late-stage Parkinson's and she will continue to hallucinate in your home?
It sounds like your loved one may need hospice. Hospice is helpful. My dad s on it. But we taking him off. Like someone commented, if you need to you cant call 911. Nope you hve to call the hospice people first. Me personally don't like that.
But you know your situation and your Mom, what you can and cannot do. Find out what your options are and how the medical system can help you and her especially to have a peaceful end of life. Pray for guidance if you believe in GOD. Helps me all the time. God bless you.
ANYWAY, you need to talk to her doctor, and may even consider end-of-life care if she is end-stages of Parkinson's. You need to do a plan of care. When she is no longer able to eat, would you and your family opt for a feeding tube? If your mom is still "with it" you need to discuss this with her.
GOOD LUCK.
If you find the facility defective, try another one.
Does the facility have a social worker who may have options to present to you?
Also, can she actually be helped? Maybe discuss sedatives with her doctor? Look into at home Hospice? Medicare pays for that.
What would at home care do to your health and well-being? It is not good to risk becoming an extended problem to your children. Have to balance things out.
even those deep in Parkinson’s often have times of complete clarity. Imagine realizing you predicament in one of those moments....wouldn’t you prefer to find another way?
so many places acknowledge the right to die with dignity on their own time table.
so, this NH had her moved to psych care....
imagine this was you. Wouldn’t you see that there is no one going to help you and the situation is actually hopeless. The only thing left to do is just give up and see if you can will yourself to die.
if, under these circumstances, my Mom had told me she wanted to die.....I would have figured out how and where she could legally be allowed to do this....and taken her there.
my father in law did exactly that....only back then... the place you had to go was the Netherlands.
At least in the US, it might be that the fortunate person is the one who can get through life without being sued.
my dad is always wanting to die and I don’t blame him one bit. As for me, I will be stockpiling pills if I end up like that.
I expect your mother is in a NH because you were unable to take care of her at home. How fortunate you are to live close by to be able to see her so often! I would call in Hospice to evaluate her. This would give her an extra layer of care in her end stage of Parkinson's. I would also set up a care plan to address the suicide talk, so they don’t try to send her back to the psych ward. The facility doctor could prescribe something for the hallucinations also.
Several people have told you to bring her home. I may have missed something, but I understood your mother’s talk of “not wanting to live like this anymore” as referring to her Parkinson’s disease, not specifically the nursing home. It sounds to me that you have an ideal situation with you living so close. I remember a poster who had been caring for his wife for sometime. She had Parkinson’s or Alzheimers and was end stage. He was exhausted and burnt out prior to the placement but described how he would come to be with her every day and was able to go home and sleep uninterrupted. This enabled him to be that more present for her at the end of her life.
Please let us know how your mother and you and your family are doing. I am praying for you.
Make sure that the nurses have not been given your Mom Haldol or another antipsychotic. Sometimes, doctors and nurses will lie. They give medications like this that lead to further brain damage.
Once, you have your Mom home, make sure to get her on MCT oil, Vitamins B1, B3, B12, D, and C. This will help her brain health.
Why are you talking about supplements? Supplements are for people that are not dying! Dying people deserve to die with dignity and to be as comfortable as they can be. That means without pain! Whatever it takes to accomplish that, morphine or anything else, give it to them.
I am so very sorry that you are experiencing this. I feel awful for your mom as well. I sincerely hope that you are able to find a suitable resolution.
My concern is that you will not be able to care for her in your home. She needs extensive care that individuals on their own simply can’t provide.
The only choice that seems feasible is to continue to work with her doctors on this extremely challenging matter. Is she seeing a neurological psychiatrist? Meds for Parkinson’s can be a challenge. You really need specialized care.
Have you ever cared for a Parkinson’s patient? It’s extremely difficult, not to mention exhausting. They lose all motor skills. Falls become more frequent.
Please don’t suggest taking her mom home. It isn’t visible for everyone to do this.
You might want to consult with an attorney about it. If you're not HCPOA, you may not have the authority. Was she held pursuant to being a danger to herself or others? Was she taken before a Judge? I'd inquire about the details, but, her pleas to leave may not be based on sound judgment. For that reason, I'd pursue options with the doctor. If she's hospice eligible, inquire about the details, under the circumstances.